Archive for 2017

He Tricked Me!

Cute girl #1: So you know how my New Year’s res­o­lu­tion was to… keep my legs closed a lit­tle bet­ter?
Cute girl #2: Yes. I did know that. Good one.
Cute girl #1: Well, I had my first slip-up in up­hold­ing it.
Cute girl #2: But it’s Jan­u­ary 2!

–Bleeck­er & Bow­ery

Over­heard by: Unim­pressed, but amused

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Have a Crash Mo­ment

Teen chick: You know, when I think about it, I re­al­ly don’t know how she can be my sis­ter. Our birth­days are ex­act­ly one month apart, and she’s light-skinned.

–B48 bus, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: eefers

Kid to an­oth­er: No, re­al­ly. I’m telling you — Michael Jack­son used to be black. I saw it on TV.

–B61 bus, Brook­lyn

La­dy to friend: Your black ass is go­ing to melt just as fast as my white ass if there is a nu­clear war.

–116th & Broad­way

White girl to an­oth­er: So, what’s your dream eth­nic­i­ty?

–Q train, Canal St

Big black guy: I love Old Navy be­cause it’s like GAP, but for black peo­ple.

–Old Navy, 6th Ave

Con­duc­tor: Next stop, Penn Sta­tion. Black pow­er, moth­er­fuck­ers.

–2 train, 42nd St

Watch­ing Or­gan­ic and In­or­gan­ic Chemists Dance-Fight Like the Sharks and the Jets

Pro­fes­sor, rolling up a black­board to re­veal a sec­ond black­board that is cov­ered in gen­er­al chem­istry: Oh god! Oh god…get it off! Ew!
(class laughs)
Pro­fes­sor: No, not the ide­al gas law! We don’t need that, we’re or­gan­ic chemists! There is no such thing as gas! No such thing as gas!
Stu­dent #1: Or­gan­ic chemists are very sen­si­tive.
Stu­dent #2: This is kind of trag­ic.

–Or­gan­ic Chem Class, Barnard

Over­heard by: Vicks­burg