Archive for 2017

No Wednes­day One-Lin­ers in the Cham­pagne Room

Soc­cer mom: In two weeks, my knit­ting cir­cle’s go­ing to the strip club.

–28th & Lex

Girl: I want to be­come a strip­per so that I can see Pat­ti LuPone in Gyp­sy every night.

–St. James The­atre

Over­heard by: Erin

Loud NYU chick: Lis­ten to the open­ing gui­tar riff of Voodoo child. It makes you want to be a strip­per!

–Bob­st Li­brary

Over­heard by: evil em

Six-year-old boy to par­ents: Oohh! Zom­bie strip­pers! Let’s see that!

–Port Au­thor­i­ty

The As­to­ria Poster-Chil­dren Were Fired Short­ly There­after

Young punk #1: Where’s the fuck­ing n train? Can we get NRW in this shit… (pause) So my friend was all coked out and fuck­ing this girl in the ass, then he to­tal­ly lost it and start­ed piss­ing right in her ass­hole.
Young punk #2: Woah…did she no­tice?
Young punk #1: Of course she no­ticed, he was piss­ing in her fuck­ing ass­hole! (train ar­rives) Oh, sweet, it’s the n!
Young punk #2: Yes! As­to­ria rep­re­sent!

–Union Square, Wait­ing for the NRW

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Have a His­to­ry of Vi­o­lence

Guy, to girl: If I want­ed to be an­gry, I would have punched you in the face a long time ago.

–34th & 7th

Woman on cell: Some­times the most spir­i­tu­al fuck­ing thing to do is punch some­body in the face.

–33rd St & 31st Ave, As­to­ria

Over­heard by: Wade

Woman: It’s not like some­one put a gun to your head and told you to fuck her!

–Penn Sta­tion

Over­heard by: Cha

Guy on cell: Yes, I’m in­ter­est­ed in your spar­ring class…No, you see I want to hit some­body.

–Bryant Park

Over­heard by: Brain­curve

Thug, to his girl­friend: Yo, I don’t care if you a girl or not. I will bust you in the head with a rock.

–Cen­tral Park