guy at counter “would you like anything in your coffee“
customer “cocaine… Just a sprinkle if you have”
–Europan on 78th & Broadway
Overheard by: Lea
guy at counter “would you like anything in your coffee“
customer “cocaine… Just a sprinkle if you have”
–Europan on 78th & Broadway
Overheard by: Lea
Janeane Garofalo: …so I just cover my whole body in Gold Bond powder.
–1st Ave. & 3rd St.
Guy #1, yelling: Fuck yeah! Put that one in the satchel!
Guy #2: That had “skankalicious” written all over it.
–35th & 7th
Overheard by: GJL
Headline by: Porter
Runners-Up:
· “Britney’s Got a New Clothing Line?” — Ray
· “In Accordance With the New Truth in Graffiti Regulations” — bq
· “It’s the New “Gucci”” — JohnnyB
· “Someone Tell Fergie to Stop Making Up Song Titles” — Botticus
· “The New Mariah Carey Doll Created Unexpected Collectors” — EddieA
Teen: Iced cappuccino, please.
Middle-aged tourist: Aren’t you a little young for that much caffeine, sweetie?
Teen: Uhhh, I’m from New York — there was caffeine in my breast milk.
Middle-aged tourist: Oh! You’re from here! Well… Could you give me directions to–
Teen: –Don’t you people have maps for that kind of thing?
–Bread Factory, 785 Lexington
Little boy to mom: I didn’t know that sometimes alarm clocks don’t work. This conversation is over now. We are not discussing it anymore.
–F train, Park Slope
Thug: Don’t whiz on the electric fence!
–D train, Fordham Rd station
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Guy shouting at motorcyclist revving engine: It’s a fucking Yamaha! It’s only a fucking Yamaha!
–St. Marks & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: shadday
Ghetto chick: Dwayne stole that iPod, anyway. He should have given it to me for free!
–14th St station
Overheard by: am I missing an ipod?
Guy: It’d take a big-ass blowtorch to circumcise a robot.
–Waverly Pl & Greene St
Student: Am I passing your math class?
Teacher: No.
Student: But I only need your class to graduate! What can I do to pass?
Teacher: Excuse me. Just because I’m Chinese does not mean you can bargain for your grade like this is Chinatown.
–High School, Queens
Volunteer with clipboard: Do you have a minute to help the environment?
Suit on cell: Fuck the environment, I hope the shit blows up!
–14 St b/w 5th & 6 Ave
Loud teenage girl: What’s good, son?
Latin teacher: Hey! No English!
Loud teenage girl: Quid bonum est, filio?
–High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Man: …I’m a real East Village type of guy. I mean, I have a bird that talks.
–East Village
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the delay. I promise it will never. happen. again.
–uptown C train
Man screaming on cell : Nah, I didn’t lie to you about nuthin’. [Pause] Even if I did lie, I sho’ wouldn’t tell you about it!
–43rd & 6th
Overheard by: C Mike
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist