Mom: Did you hear Rosie O’Donnell is in Fiddler now?
Son: Why is it that every queer that comes into this city gets cast but me?
–TKTS, Duffy Square
Overheard by: Patrick McTamany
Archive for 2017
No, It’s Time She Heard the Truth
NYU girl #1. Where are you from?
NYU girl #2. New Jersey.
NYU girl #1. Oh… I guess that’s okay.
–W 4th & Mercer
Because She Knew How to Behave Like a Lady.
Guy #1: I told him you don't ask a woman for a cigarette, you just don't do it.
Guy #2: Yeah… Word.
Guy #1: But he didn't listen. Next thing you know he's getting pistol whipped and my car is being towed away.
–1 Train
And Still, K-Fed Got Custody Of the Kids
20-something bum: Excuse me, miss, can I please have a cigarette?
Young woman smoking: Sure.
20-something bum: Thank you so much. I just took a huge hit of heroin and a cigarette after is the balls.
Young woman smoking: Well, happy trails!
–14th St & 3rd Ave
He’s Tricky with That Reverse Psychology
Hobo: How are you doin’? Do you need some money? You need a dollar or two?
Woman: No thanks, I’m okay.
Hobo: Okay, god bless you.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Lisa
I’m Pretty Sure That’s Noman
Man: That’s a nice necklace.
Woman: Thank you. It’s something my sister brought back from…either Acapulco or the Poconos, whichever one’s an island.
–Office, 45th & 3rd
These People Really Do Exist in New York…
A fat Italian “businessman” in a Members Only jacket is standing on the corner talking to 2 other fat Italian guys. An SUV drives by, honks the horn twice, and then speeds off. The “businessman” turns around quickly and loudly yells: Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Fuckin’ faggot.
–LES
He Won't Leave the House Without Product in His Fur
Salesperson to customer with small dog: You know that we now have pet products?
Customer: Yes, he's using them already.
Salesperson: Oh, he looks great!
–Kiehls, 3rd Ave & 13th St
Overheard by: David Feldman
Totally Worth the Annual Membership Fee
Woman: We've got snacks in the office, if you like. It's very convenient having Costco nearby.
Man: Oh, that's great! I just recently discovered BJs with my girlfriend.
–Sunset Park, Brooklyn
I Just Have to Figure Out How to Get to the Airport
Bimbette #1: I hate leaving Manhattan.
Bimbette #2: Ugh, yeah… I never leave Manhattan except to go to Europe.
–Restaurant, 34th & 3rd
Overheard by: Jonny