Boy #1: It’s so gross! My aunts pinch my cheeks and call me cute and make, like, cow noises!
Boy #2: Take it from me: wait ’til you get older. I promise, no one will ever call you cute again.
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: Andrea
Boy #1: It’s so gross! My aunts pinch my cheeks and call me cute and make, like, cow noises!
Boy #2: Take it from me: wait ’til you get older. I promise, no one will ever call you cute again.
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: Andrea
Girl: I was so wasted last night. I think I gave a blowjob to a hobo in the park.
–St. Marks & 2nd
Overheard by: Constantino
Guy #1: No, man, she’s been lying for a while now.
Guy #2: I dunno, man…
Guy #1: It’s true. Remember that time I was like, “Hey, where’s your baby?” And she was like, “Oh yeah…I had a miscarriage.“
Guy #2: True. True.
–Pick a Bagel, 3rd Ave between 22nd & 23rd
Overheard by: Shannon
Thug #1: I’m going to beat the shit out of you like the Incredible Hulk, except I’m going to turn purple instead of green.
Thug #2: No, you’re not. You’re going to turn pink because you’re a pussy!
–Bronx-bound D train
Overheard by: Maria Endrinal
Girl walking down the street: Why do I feel so full?
Little kid: Cause you’re drunk!
–Bleecker St, West Village
Overheard by: Diva
Human Leech: Oh, what you have to do is calculate your monthly income–and make sure you include in that the amount of money that your parents give you every month.
–Beacon’s Closet, Williamsburg
Gay Man #1: I like your coat.
Gay Man #2: Where did you get it?
Gay Man #1: Gucci.
Gay Man #2: Gucci, Gucci, Goo!
–Elevator, Manhattan
Little white boy: Will someone tell him that the Indians were playing the Yankees the other day!!?
Little Indian boy: Will someone tell him that Indians don’t play baseball? I should know, I’m Indian!
–2 train
Engineer: Unlike you, I am not always thinking about cock!
–Midtown office
Overheard by: Randy Locklair
Blonde Teen: No. Like it’s hairy. Like really hairy. Like I‑have-to-trim-it hairy.
–3rd Ave & 11th St.
Overheard by: D O double
Girl #1: So wait… You have trouble orgasming?
Girl #2: Yes! It’s like impossible for me to come through sex alone.
Girl #1: But fingering and oral works?
Girl #2: Well, yeah.
Girl #1 to guy friend: How ya hanging in there, Matt?
Matt: I need to start hanging out with more guys.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist