Archive for 2017

Once Upon a Time in Wednesday One-Liner…

Bag lady: The Republicans are trying to regain power by removing all the African Americans and replacing them with Latinos.

–Jamaica LIRR Station

Woman to boyfriend: You know, I’m really glad I met you instead of a Mexican.

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: true romantic

Asian girl on phone with her mother: He’s not a regular Hispanic, you know, he speaks English, recycles, and likes museums.

–Washington Square Park

Lady at shop: Are you Mexican? My ex was Mexican. He was shorter than me, but I loved him. Until he stabbed someone. (pause) Sweetheart, I need a lot of napkins–I don’t have my top teeth.

–President & Smith

And What’s More Hilarious Than Middle-aged Sex?

Comedy show promoter: Comedy show tonight! 50% off, right here! What about you guys?
Middle-aged woman with husband: No thanks, we’re seeing a movie.
Comedy show promoter: What about after your movie? We got late shows too!
Middle-aged woman: That’s when we go home and have sex. Thanks, though.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Laura