Archive for April, 2018

Per­haps These Breasts Will An­swer Your Ques­tion

Guy to guy friend: Did you see the Gi­ants game last night?
Girl, in­ter­rupt­ing: I did! I am the biggest Gi­ants fan ever! Like, se­ri­ous­ly.
Guy: You’re wear­ing a Jets jer­sey.
Girl: Ohh, I thought it was Gi­ants, you know, the col­ors some­times get con­fus­ing.
Guy: How do you con­fuse red and blue with green and white?
Girl: Uh­hh…

–F Train

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Bet­ter Not End Up on the In­ter­net

30-some­thing on cell: Mom, he came over and took a pic­ture of my toi­let!

–Spring & Greene

20-some­thing chick: First of all, who pos­es bare-ass naked on a car in a Wal-Mart park­ing lot? Sec­ond­ly, who bleach­es their ass­hole? Third, who takes a pic­ture of it and e‑mails it to all their friends?!

–113th, be­tween Broad­way & Am­s­ter­dam

Over­heard by: La­dle

Queer: He pho­tographs re­al­ly poor­ly. That’s a big prob­lem for me…

–Star­bucks, Wash­ing­ton Square

Over­heard by: jess

Woman to friend: You know, just be­cause I work with her does­n’t mean I have to look at pho­tos of her pla­cen­ta.

–34th & 3rd

Over­heard by: X. L. Per­cy

And Id­iot Is Not a Pro­tect­ed Class, So Watch Out.

Guy #1: Wow, they in­dict­ed five cops in that beat­ing last year in Shenan­doah.
Guy #2: Yeah, it was a hate crime.
Guy #1: The vic­tim was gay?
Guy #2: No, dude, he was Mex­i­can.
Guy #1: What? Since when is it a crime to be Mex­i­can?
Guy #2, af­ter pause: Every­one on this train thinks you are a fuck­ing id­iot, and I agree with them.

–Up­town 6 Train