Girl to boyfriend: Well, I don’t know what kind of cult they’re in, but they make the best waffles.
Overheard by: Chunky Jesus
Guy on phone, loudly: Yes! Make the soup! Make the soup! If you don’t, I simply don’t know how I’m going to spend the weekend! (long pause) Wait, what? Don’t you use words that are longer than five letters when talking to me, young one!
20-something: He once tried to deep-fry an orange.
Overheard by: Adam
50-something yelling on cell: Yeah… I figured out we were at the movies, I was just wondering who brought the asparagus.
–Fairway Market, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Antny
Woman looking in her sandwich: This is absurd!