Archive for December, 2018

Hey, Mind If I Take Your Wallet?

Emaciated goth/punk guy: Hey, do you know where a CVS is?
Passerby suit: I don't know what that is…
Passerby preppy girl: Are you looking for a CVS?
Emaciated goth/punk guy: Yes!
Preppy girl: Well, there's a Duane Reade right there, it's like, the same thing.
Emaciated goth/punk guy, matter-of-factly: I know, it's just impossible to steal from Duane Reade.
Preppy girl: Oh.
Emaciated goth/punk guy: I'm really poor.
Preppy girl: Okay.
Emaciated goth/punk guy, cheerful: Thanks anyway!
Preppy girl, also cheerful: You're welcome!

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Hannah

Get a Little Cardio Without Your Ears Bleeding

Loud evangelist, shouting in packed subway car: And so I discovered that Jesus Christ is the only messiah! I found the Lord! I found the truth and the light!
Trapped passenger #1: Could you turn it down a little?
Loud evangelist, shouting in packed subway car: I was a sinner! I spent thirty-five years running from the word of the Lord!
Trapped passenger #2: At least you could run…

–A Train

Overheard by: peeper

Plus, He’s Six Months Old

Girl #1: Would Nick like this?
Girl #2: What, walking here? In this place?
Girl #1: I’m asking.
Girl #2: No way. Nick just wouldn’t get this.
Girl #1: How do you mean?
Girl #2: Nick wouldn’t get this. For Nick if it doesn’t, like, have boobies every 90 seconds, he just switches off.
Girl #1: Right.

–The Met

Overheard by: Cliff