Archive for 2018

Big Yellow Wednesday One-Liner

Cab driver to guy getting in front seat and putting on seatbelt: What's da matter? You scared or something?!

–23rd St & 9th Ave

Overheard by: Murray

Moroccan taxi driver: Always watch out for Chinese and New Jersey licence plates, they are the worst drivers in the world.

–Midtown

Overheard by: Ana

Cab driver, shouting at passersby in crosswalk: Need some rain out here, Lord! Get 'em in my cab!

–24th & 6th

Overheard by: Oh NYC-you amuse me so

Ambulance driver, over loudspeaker, stuck behind cab refusing to pull over despite lights and sirens: It's pretty clear why you drive a fucking cab for a living.

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: trafficjunky

She Bought You That Vaginal Ointment You’ve Been Needing!

Lady over loudspeaker: Would a customer named *Amanda please report to checkout ten. *Amanda, please report to checkout ten.
[Pause of about 45 seconds.]Lady over loudspeaker: *Amanda, please report to checkout ten. You mom is here and her back hurts.

–Pathmark-Atlantic Center Brooklyn

Overheard by: Bart Procacci

Transferring From the F to the A

Guy #1: You know, I just love fucking my girlfriend up the ass.
Guy #2: Why do you want to tell me that?
Guy #1: It’s better than anything.
Guy #2: Dude, I don’t care, shut the fuck up.
Guy #1: It’s like putting your dick in a extremely tight and warm–
Guy #2: Dude, honestly, I don’t give a fuck, so if you are going to start again, I’m gonna rip out your throat. Comprende?

–F train

Overheard by: Ting

Wednesday One-Liners Are Accident Prone

Cute 20-something queer on cell: I slipped and fell and slid about fifteen feet on 34th Street. Thank God I have a fat ass. It was like a Slip ‘n Slide without the warm, the bathing suit, or the fun.

–6 train

Overheard by: Looking at his not fat ass

Peter Sarsgaard: That was like the time my sister got hit by her own school bus!

–Outside of the Ars Nova Theatre, 54th & 10th

Overheard by: Danielle

Dirty, Sexy Wednesday One-Liners

Young gay guy in Daisy Dukes, shades and tank top, yammering away on cell: Is it totally acceptable to have sex on the beach there?

–43rd St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Anna Rose

Teen boy to friend: If I were a giant I'd fuck the Statue of Liberty!

–Houston & Broadway

Overheard by: Henry

Chick to friend: As soon as I get over this yeast infection, I'm gonna bang the shit out of him.

–McDonald's, Times Square

Overheard by: Keep It Movin'

Black guy on cell: Penetration?! Penetration?! It ain't about penetration, it's all about sensation.

–E 4th St

Overheard by: girl named sugar

Drunk man to drunk woman, while making out against a car: Let's just go with it…let's just fuck on top of the car.

–Bleecker & Macdougal

Girl to the guy at the next table: Haven't I slept with you before?

–Stabrucks, 78th & Lexington

Overheard by: Ashlee