Thug girl, watching snow-covered sidewalk: Ugh! Why are all these people everywhere?
Thug boy: Because its powdered, nigga!
–Essex Street & Delancey
Overheard by: The Cuban
Archive for 2018
Or You Could Swallow a Twinkie
Guy #1: I don’t know man, I thought when I had kids I would no longer want another woman. I thought it would end you?
Guy #2: Yeah yeah, it never ends.
Guy #1: If kids doesn’t do it, how do you make it stop?
Guy #2: Cupcakes.
–Bodega, 3rd Avenue & 10th Street
So Beautiful, So Incomprehensible
Sober Londoner: Did you just have a civilized conversation?
Very drunk Londoner: No, I was talking to some Australian girl.
–Eight Mile Creek
Overheard by: Adam Scholem
Filming on the My Fair Lady Remake Commenced in NY This Week
Teen girl on cell: Yo! Where da fuck you be at?! You come pick us up this fucking second; it’s so fucking cold out here, my twat’s got ice on it!
–Union Square
So It’s Jewgrass Music?
Teenybopper #1: … So then they started singing ‘Hava Nagila,’ and they lifted her up in the chair and she fell off!
Teenybopper #2: Wait, I’m confused. What’s a Hava Nagila?
Teenybopper #1: It’s like this cultural Jewish song. It’s like the ‘Cotton-eyed Joe’ for Jewish people.
–68th & Broadway
Overheard by: oh dear
The Dry Wit Gets Wet
American Businessman: What are you doing in Mexico?
British Businessman: Drinking. Continuously.
–Office, Midtown
Some Wiseass Tried to Pull a U-turn
Girl #1: Why is this train going so slow?
Girl #2: …There’s probably traffic.
–7 train
Overheard by: Erica
You Can Always Tell the Public Service Employees Who Have Kids
Well-dressed British lady: Driver, what's the next stop?
Bus driver: I'm not letting you off until you pay your fare. Don't ask me again.
–M31 Bus
Overheard by: Nora
Ladies, Fabulous People Don’t Need Roommates
Girl #1: Dude, that apartment was so ridiculousy small. No fat people would be able to walk in our hallway.
Girl #2: Like we’re friends with anyone who’s fat.
–6th & Houston
Ellie Was Branded As Ambitious Early On
Grade school girl #1: Why are you so upset?
Grade school girl #2: People at school think I like three boys! Do you know what that does to my reputation?!
–Outside the elementary school, 76th St