Archive for 2018

God, I Miss the Eight­ies

Thug girl, watch­ing snow-cov­ered side­walk: Ugh! Why are all these peo­ple every­where?
Thug boy: Be­cause its pow­dered, nig­ga!

–Es­sex Street & De­lancey

Over­heard by: The Cuban

Or You Could Swal­low a Twinkie

Guy #1: I don’t know man, I thought when I had kids I would no longer want an­oth­er woman. I thought it would end you?
Guy #2: Yeah yeah, it nev­er ends.
Guy #1: If kids does­n’t do it, how do you make it stop?
Guy #2: Cup­cakes.

–Bode­ga, 3rd Av­enue & 10th Street

So It’s Jew­grass Mu­sic?

Teeny­bop­per #1: … So then they start­ed singing ‘Ha­va Nag­i­la,’ and they lift­ed her up in the chair and she fell off!
Teeny­bop­per #2: Wait, I’m con­fused. What’s a Ha­va Nag­i­la?
Teeny­bop­per #1: It’s like this cul­tur­al Jew­ish song. It’s like the ‘Cot­ton-eyed Joe’ for Jew­ish peo­ple.

–68th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: oh dear