Archive for 2018

A Studio Apartment Is Not a Dance Studio Apartment

Seven-year-old boy #1: When I grow up I want a three-bedroom apartment.
Seven-year-old boy #2: Yeah, I'm gonna have a whole room just for food.
Seven-year-old boy #3: I'm gonna have a room just for dancing.
Seven-year-old boy #1: But you don't dance now. You hate dancing.
Seven-year-old boy #3: If I had a room to do it in, I'd dance.

–111th & Broadway

Overheard by: Meredith K.

Meet New York City's Most Functional Couple

Male suit: See, look at her! (points at woman on BlackBerry) Women are more likely to get killed while texting than men. Men are always aware of their surroundings.
Female suit: No, men just can't walk and text at the same time. Women are better at multi-tasking.
Male suit: Alright, since you're so good at multi-tasking, suck my dick and make me a sandwich.
Female suit: I've got news for you. If you keep eating sandwiches, even hookers won't want to suck your dick.

–Broadway & Astor Place

Overheard by: Ashley

That's a Long Time for a Lady Gaga Fan!

Man #1: You ain't even seen her in five years?
Man #2: Naw…
Man #1: Shit, man, that's a long time!
Man #2: I know. I was supposed to see her, but then I got locked up…

–Bainbridge Ave & 191st St