Archive for 2018

A Stu­dio Apart­ment Is Not a Dance Stu­dio Apart­ment

Sev­en-year-old boy #1: When I grow up I want a three-bed­room apart­ment.
Sev­en-year-old boy #2: Yeah, I’m gonna have a whole room just for food.
Sev­en-year-old boy #3: I’m gonna have a room just for danc­ing.
Sev­en-year-old boy #1: But you don’t dance now. You hate danc­ing.
Sev­en-year-old boy #3: If I had a room to do it in, I’d dance.

–111th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Mered­ith K.

Meet New York City’s Most Func­tion­al Cou­ple

Male suit: See, look at her! (points at woman on Black­Ber­ry) Women are more like­ly to get killed while tex­ting than men. Men are al­ways aware of their sur­round­ings.
Fe­male suit: No, men just can’t walk and text at the same time. Women are bet­ter at mul­ti-task­ing.
Male suit: Al­right, since you’re so good at mul­ti-task­ing, suck my dick and make me a sand­wich.
Fe­male suit: I’ve got news for you. If you keep eat­ing sand­wich­es, even hook­ers won’t want to suck your dick.

–Broad­way & As­tor Place

Over­heard by: Ash­ley

That’s a Long Time for a La­dy Gaga Fan!

Man #1: You ain’t even seen her in five years?
Man #2: Naw…
Man #1: Shit, man, that’s a long time!
Man #2: I know. I was sup­posed to see her, but then I got locked up…

–Bain­bridge Ave & 191st St