Archive for 2018

In My Day, You Had to Walk Two Miles Bare­foot to School and a Coke Bot­tle Suf­ficed As a Dil­do

Girl: There’s a new sex toy — it’s re­al­ly ad­vanced… You can choose how much body fat you want, change the skin col­or, every­thing.
Guy #1: Wait, do you in­flate it?
Girl: No! It’s like a dead per­son you just fuck.
Guy #2: Would­n’t it be a lot of work for girls?
Guy #1: Dude, she can just sit there.
Guy #2: But still, she has to hop! Like, hop up and down.
Guy #1: Dude, if it’s that ad­vanced, I’m sure the cock moves.
Guy #2: Oh, true. Yeah, it prob­a­bly has a bon­er.

–Wash­ing­ton Square Park

Over­heard by: freck­les

Com­mu­ni­ca­tions Ma­jor

Ditz #1: Are you ap­ply­ing to any SUN­Ys?
Ditz #2: What? What’s that?
Ditz #1: A ‘State Uni­ver­si­ty of New York.‘
Ditz #2: Oh, Michi­gan?
Ditz #1: No, no, no. What are your safe­ty schools?
Ditz #2: Michi­gan?

–Death Cab for Cutie show, Madi­son Square Gar­den The­ater

Over­heard by: Jess Co­hen