Archive for 2018

Define “Better”

Drunk boy: God, fucking Bedford is so fucking gentrified.
Drunk girl: Go to the Lorimer stop. It’s way better there.

–Bedford Avenue station

Overheard by: Ami

Hitler Did Kinda Focus on That One Star, Though…

College kid #1: …and the astrologers are having to completely change their predictions because Pluto’s not a planet anymore.
College kid #2: That’s crazy.
Random guy: Don’t make fun of astrology. Hitler took astrology seriously. So did Ronald Reagan. And kings and queens.

–1 train, 116th St

Overheard by: bluekale
Headline by: wiggity

Runners-Up:
· “Actually, The Queens Only Follow the Movements of Uranus” – Johnny B
· “Astrologists Predict Random Man Wearing Jack Boots Will Disembowel 2 College Kids” – dante mcnasty
· “I Thought Ronald Reagan Got Rid of All the Queens” – C.J.
· “Just When I Had Heard That Stupidity Was in Retrograde…” – tm78
· “Nostradumbass Lives On” – kathy
· “Pluto Is Just a Mickey Mouse Planet” – Elliott Sperber
· “Taurus: Keep Your Wits About You, as True Love Is Around the Corner. Also, You Will Invade Poland.” – Jim C.
· “What Did You Think the Star Wars Program Was About?” – Tom Dorey

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

It’s All About Rita Now, MTV Generation

Twin girl #A: Yeah, she said she was going to do the school year here.
Unique girl: She came from Kentucky? Why did she come so far?
Twin girl #B: Louisiana is a state. Kentucky is another state.
Unique girl: Oh, well why’d she come to New York? Couldn’t she stay in her house in Louisiana?
Twin girl #A: Um, no, a hurricane hit New Orleans. That’s why she’s here.
Unique girl: Right, right. I forgot about that.

–Kew Gardens station

“Tunnel Vision:” Defined

Man to friend: So, where did you find the cane you're using, it looks like just what I need.
Friend: Oh, at a CVS near Jersey.
Man: What's “near Jersey”?
Friend: Just through a tunnel, you know… Jersey.

–W 71 & Broadway

Overheard by: Revedgoldberg