Archive for 2018

And Wednes­day Said, “Let There Be One-Lin­ers.”

Guy on cell: Sup­pose there is no god. (pause) Hel­lo? Can you hear me? Sup­pose there is no god. (pause) Hel­lo? Hel­lo? Can you hear me?

–Bus

Over­heard by: Is God try­ing to tell you some­thing?

In­tense man, grasp­ing wom­an’s shoul­ders: God want­ed me to, and I was ready to.

–Near River­side Church, Morn­ing­side Heights

Over­heard by: I wish I knew more

Guy, in awed tones, hear­ing “Le nozze di Fi­garo” through open win­dow: It’s like the voice of God…

–The Bronx

Over­heard by: ground floor mu­sic lover

Crazy man: There is on­ly one God. There is on­ly one re­al deal. I can’t af­ford sex any­more.

–Out­side Penn Sta­tion

Over­heard by: That took a turn

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Go Through a Grey Pe­ri­od

Girl look­ing at garbage and dirt spilled on the side­walk: Gross. You think it’s sup­posed to be art?

–Broad­way & Hous­ton

Lit­er­a­ture pro­fes­sor: So any­thing that any­body ever paint­ed was a Gui­do?

–NYU Sil­ver Cen­ter

Plau­si­bly mad sep­tu­a­ge­nar­i­an clerk: When I was 16 Stravin­sky bought my first paint­ing. It was writ­ten up in the pa­per. A cou­ple of days lat­er, I was kid­napped.

–Barnes & No­ble, Lin­coln Cen­ter

Over­heard by: Seth

Fa­ther to four-year-old son: Look­ing at art makes your legs tired.

–Met­ro­pol­i­tan Mu­se­um Lob­by

Philis­tine: I don’t like art in which you have to un­der­stand the mo­ti­va­tion be­hind it.

–Out­side the Guggen­heim

Over­heard by: De­vot­ed Pup­py

Pro­fes­sor-type man to group of teens look­ing at Greek sculp­tures: And if the sculp­ture’s back is up against the wall and you want to see it from be­hind, just get up against a wall and look at its ass as much as you can… yeah! It’s not dirty or wrong… Just look at its ass!

–Met­ro­pol­i­tan Mu­se­um of Art

De­spite What You May Have Heard.

La­dy to ush­er: Do you know where the la­dy’s room is?
Ush­er: I don’t know, I’ve nev­er been there.

–Madi­son Square Gar­den

Over­heard by: Marc Klein