Archive for 2018

The Little Wednesday One-Liners That Could

Lady suit: Every time I get on the subway there’s always some freak of nature sitting there. I wish they’d do something about that!

–34th & 7th

Dorky teen boy: This is the subway station?! Wow!

–2nd floor, Port Authority

Overheard by: JoBell

Lady suit: If you smoke enough pot, the B Train becomes the Hogwarts Express!

–DeKalb station

Overheard by: jaded

Blonde: I’ve only ever taken the shuttle from Grand Central to Times Square. I’ve never gone East on it. I don’t know how.

–1 train

Overheard by: minerfa

Dad to young son as doors close: Come on, come on, come on! [He holds the closing doors, and they make it inside.] Um, don’t ever do that.

–F train

Overheard by: dianora

She Got an MFA in Stripping

Girlfriend: Hey, there’s a Juilliard School in New York? I didn’t know that! There’s a Juilliard in Boston. It’s a music school.
Boyfriend: I don’t think there’s a Juilliard in Boston.
Girlfriend: Yes, there is! I went to it! The New York one must be, like, a branch of the Boston one. Like Penn State in New York or Ohio, or whatever.

–A train, 168th St

Overheard by: Girl in Juilliard T-Shirt

Perhaps You Should Look at Your Tag

Hipster girl: Post-hipster is like post-irony, you’re being ironic about irony.
Hipster guy #1: Wait, so you can be a hipster and hate hipsters at the same time?
Hipster guy #2: I am so post-hipster!

–Charleston Bar, Williamsburg

Overheard by: Matt Boorady