Dad to screaming toddler he’s hanging upside down: Shhh! Shh… Sweetie, it’s just like yoga… Now deep breathe… Now… Practice your chakras…
–1st Ave & 1st St
Young father to toddler: Hey man, it’s not cool to scratch your butt in public! I know you have an itchy, but the chicks don’t dig that.
–Prospect Park West
Overheard by: Marina
Dad with European accent to young boy slowly riding bike with training wheels: Do you know what we call this in English? (pause) “Pathetic.”
Overheard by: baconista
Father to toddler, after she picked up pacifier from pavement: The five-second rule does not apply in New York City!
Dad, walking 7‑year-old son to school: You gotta remember. Everything I know, I know from comic books.
–91st St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Moses