5‑year-old wasp boy, watching black Ferrari: Wow! (points)
Wasp father: You will never have one of those. That’s a trashy car.
–Madison Ave & 70th
Overheard by: Alex and Allyson
Archive for 2018
It Made Finding a Prom Date Easy
Teenage boy, making out with girlfriend: Did you know my mom and I are only 15 years apart?
Teenage girlfriend: No way, that must have been really hard.
Teenage boy: No, it’s good to be a young mom.
(making out resumes)
–7 Train
Headline by: Botticus
Runners-Up:
· “I’ll Show You in 9 Months” — Sandy Paws
· “In Fact, It’s Bit Of a Family Tradition” — Traditionalist
· “Please Tell Me This Isn’t What Inspired Gilmore Girls” — katenonymous
· “Psychologists Call This “Priming”” — chuck
Al-Qaida Has Gotten a Lot Less Crafty
Conductor: Borough Hall. Next stop, Heaven…excuse me, Nevins.
Woman: Um, should I get off here?
–5 train
Overheard by: James
You’re Going to Need to Be More Specific.
Girl to guy: That’s exactly what my brother said.
Guy: Which brother?
Girl: The hot one.
Guy: Which one is the hot one?
Girl: The black one.
–78th St & York
Overheard by: carey
…Delicious but Deadly
Guy to friends sitting on steps: Anyone want any chips?
(distributes snack chips)
Friend: Hey! What flavor of chips are these? They taste like paint smells!
Guy: Paint chips.
–Union Square
Overheard by: akb427
Wednesday One-Liners Are Moving to Florida Soon
Teen girl on cell: So, this weekend I have to go to Louisiana. Can you believe it? My grandmother’s dying. Yeah, again — she’s dying again. My grandmother is always dying. I can’t believe I have to go to Louisiana.
–Union Square
Father to four-year-old daughter facing American Indian in bear costume: Looks like Grandma, doesn’t it?
–Museum of Natural History
Girl on cell with boyfriend: So, what? I can’t talk down to your grandmother in front of you? What’s fucking wrong with that?!
–Jamaica Ave & Parsons Blvd
Overheard by: Rod-Rod
Latina on cell: What am I supposed to tell her? ‘Oh, my grandma’s dying and my cat’s eating her toes, and… um… I lost the papers’? I can’t do that… [After pause, she switches to rapid Spanish.]
–30th & 6th
Overheard by: avenueF
Creepster: I would totally marry my grandmother.
–Sly Fox, 9th & 2nd
Overheard by: Will
Completely Confused Wednesday One-liners
Well-dressed woman to passerby: Excuse me. Which way is up?
–53rd & Madison
Overheard by: Kitsune
Stoned guy: I think I thought I had a thought in my head…but I was wrong.
–74th S & Colonial Rd, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Becka Dash
All Women Are Beautiful, If You Know How to Look
Girl: But she’s so pretty.
Guy: So are you! And she’s not that pretty.
Girl: No… Really?
Guy: Well, she’s a whore.
Girl: I’m pretty?
–1 train
Overheard by: She’s not actually pretty
In the Sense That She Wants You to Take Over Her Classes While She Does Her Own Research
Male grad student #1: So, I got an email from my teacher today.
Male grad student #2: Oh, yeah?
Male grad student #1: Yeah… She thinks I’m a good teacher.
Male grad student #2: Oh… So nothing about…?
Male grad student #1: No, nothing about my gorgeous smile or sparkling personality.
Male grad student #2: Oh.
Male grad student #1: She totally wants me. I can tell.
–A train, between 42nd & 50th St
Overheard by: laurs
Neither Fitty nor Mrs. Cent Could Be Reached for Comment
Overloud teenager #1: You know what I figured out? All this shit we’re listening to now… When we’re older that shit’s gonna be old school.
Overloud teenager #2: Huh?
Overloud teenager #1: That Fitty track. When we’re… older and shit, it’s gonna be old school. Shit’s gonna be old school.
Overloud teenager #2: I don’t get it.
–Uptown 1 Train
