Archive for May, 2019

Falling Down Radicalized Him

Man #1: Yeah, I’m always getting blamed by someone for everything because I’m the man. Fat, white, middle-aged guy in a suit. Yep, it’s my fault.
Man #2: The Texas accent doesn’t help, either.

–E train, 42nd St

Overheard by: Yeah it is probably his fault

Wednesday RU-486-Liners

Guy on cell: That's the good thing about abortions–you can have like three a day.

–14th St & 6th Ave

Ghetto dude: I told her, I was like "if you get pregnant you best get an abortion, cause I ain't helping you with that shit." I mean, I would help her, but I gotta get that shit in her head.

–N Train

Overheard by: Jill

30-something woman to boyfriend: There be some muthafuckas up in here who think this shit some form of birth control. I'm woman enough; I gave birth to six kids. I ain't doin' it again.

–Abortion Clinic, Queens

Crazy guy on subway, preaching: You know why there's 100 million Mexicans in America? Abortion!

–W Train

So That's What Happened to the Ghost of Rodney Dangerfield.

Woman #1: Have you ever been with a married man?
Woman #2: No. Not even when I was married.

–23rd & 9th Ave

Overheard by: C-Belle

Headline by: Rob

Runners-Up:
· “…But My Husband Has.” – Jen
· “Among the More Common Transexual Paradoxes” – Leary Blaine
· “I Could Never Schedule an Appointment With His Secretary” – Lizzay
· “I Knew There Was a Reason I Shouldn’t Have Married a Priest…” – Lukas
· “What Are You Trying to Say, Mom?” – dazed and confused

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

The Pogo Stick Made an Honest Woman Out of Her

Teen girl #1: I got a doctor’s appointment after school today. My mom saw this hickey and she’s taking me for a pregnancy test.
Teen boy: Yo, Mexican mom’s is crazy.
Teen girl #2: That sucks. If my mom ever tries to take me, I’m telling her it’s a civil rights violation.
Teen girl #1: I already got my excuse. I’m gonna say it busted when I was riding my bike.
Teen boy: No, that’s no good. Say you was jumpin’ up and down.

–7 train

If James Dean Were Still Alive Today

Man: Do you wanna ride in the sidecar of my motorbike? My son does that all the time. We go really fast!
Teen girl: Yeah, sure, I’d love to go in your pre-war sidecar. With a bit of luck, all my friends will see me with some crazy bald man and that will be the end of my life. No, thanks!

–The Village