Archive for October, 2019

Wednesday One-Liners Bring Up the Rear

20-something girl on phone: So I said, stick it in my arse and then we'll talk business!

–Central Park

Overheard by: Ken Adams

Drag queen: Give me a bathroom, a bar of soap, and some lube and I'm good to go. Hold my cheeze doodles.

–2nd Ave

Cross-dresser, stumbling down steps with man out of apartment building: That really hurt my ass!

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: D

20-something hot girt to friend: We're not even Facebook friends… She can't just be talking to me about anal beads.

–PATH Train

Unless I Could Interest You in Some Rebound Sex?

20-something girl (following older man and sniffing him): Mmmmmmm.
Older man (letting her pass): Excuse me?
Girl: Sorry about that. You smell like my boyfriend. And he dumped me two days ago. (eyes well up)
Older man: Well, you're making me nervous. Keep on walking, honey.

–4 Train

Overheard by: alex

Just Because Mom Wants You to Consider Vaginoplasty?

Girlfriend, arguing: You tell your parents everything.
Boyfriend: No, I don't! Just the normal amount!
Girlfriend: No, no, you tell your mother way too many details. It's not normal. They have a word for guys like you: momma's boys.

–1 Train

Wednesday One-Liners May Leave a Bad Taste in Your Mouth

Bland middle-aged woman: It's not like you're giving head in the Port Authority bathroom!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: j

English tourist: You'll go home and people will ask: "So what did you do on holiday?" You'll reply: "Oh, I gave the Empire State Building a blowjob!"

–34th St

Guy on cell: Ugh, fuck me in the ass. No… no, not you. Meanie. Why don't you just suck my dick. Suck my dick!

–34th Street

Dude on cell: It was like getting a blowjob from the inside.

–8th Ave & 53rd St

Guy on cell: Is that the guy that's been sucking your dick?

–81st & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Kelley

Young guy on cell: And then I said: "I could really use a blowjob right now." She was offended!

–48th & Park

Young black man to friend: Just because she sucks my dick doesn't make her Oprah Winfrey.

–B48 Bus

Rorschach Hands: the New Psychoanalytical Technique

Professor: When vassals would take an oath of loyalty they would kneel in front of the king and put their hands like this [puts hands in prayer position]. Now, what does this look like?
Student: A vagina?
Professor: No! Praying! It looks like praying!

–Fordham University

Overheard by: Marina C

Headline by: belle

Runners-Up:

· “Either way, it helps to kneel.” – Lindsey

· “From The Da Vinci Code’s deleted scenes.” – nick

· “In a refreshing move from the anus, today’s headline contest is brought to you by the vagina. That’s right, Overheard in New York is wiping back-to-front.” – erak

· “Now Get Your Cock Up In This” – B.M.D.

· “Okay, maybe a LITTLE prayer in schools wouldn’t hurt” – space coyote

· “Putting the Pussy on a Pedestal” – Clof


Click here to see the new Headline Contest