Archive for November, 2019

Bet­ter Hun­dreds Dead Than My­self In­con­ve­nienced

His­pan­ic guy: Can you be­lieve they shut down the train sta­tion ’cause one guy got sick.
Old black guy: Fuckin’ self­ish-ass peo­ple, man. Self­ish.
Young woman: He was hav­ing a seizure.
Old black guy: Well, I would’ve dragged him out or some­thing.
White guy: I can’t be­lieve this is hap­pen­ing to me on my first day out of jail.

–116th & Broad­way bus stop

Over­heard by: Kendall

Full Frontal Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Dude to an­oth­er: Yeah, but she got a yeast in­fec­tion from sit­ting around naked on muffins all day.

–Union Square

Over­heard by: chris

Art­sy guy on cell: No, no, she’s not naked… But you want to see her naked!

–12th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: EthanK

Flight at­ten­dant: Your pi­lot for the flight to­day is Buck Naked. Your first of­fi­cer is Justin Case. That’s just in case Buck Naked de­cides to get buck wild.

–La­Guardia

Dude: I heard that all they do there is have sex and drink beer… And have naked snow­ball fights.

–41st & 7th

The Se­cret is Out!

A Wendy’s em­ploy­ee, fresh off his break, pre­tends to be a cus­tomer.

Wendy’s Guy #1: Hel­lo, sir. Wel­come to Wendy’s. Can I take your or­der?
Wendy’s Guy #2: I want a Big Mac.
Wendy’s Guy #1: A Big Mac?
Wendy’s Girl: I don’t want a Big Mac but I want that sauce.
Wendy’s Guy #2: Yeah, it’s pret­ty good.
Wendy’s Girl: Is­n’t it just 1000 is­land dress­ing?

–Wendy’s, Ben­son­hurst