Archive for December, 2019

Wednesday One-Liners– As Far As You Know

Man on cell, coming out of The Dark Knight: I’m sorry that I couldn’t pick up your call, I was in a very important meeting with a client.

–Lowes Movie Theater, 68th & Broadway

Guy on cell walking out of subway entrance: I’m getting on the subway now.

–Park Place & Church Street

Overheard by: Rich Mintz

Female suit on cell: Well, I can’t talk long, I’m about to get on a plane. Yeah, JFK.

–Battery Park

Overheard by: pop pop

Overweight woman to daughter in pink tutu: You made me come here! Don’t lie! Don’t lie! Don’t lie!

–Ikea, Redhook

Overheard by: Emily B.

Annoying anchor: I’m writing a newscast. I don’t have time to check facts.

–CBS News Headquarters, 57th St

Overheard by: The Shadow News Bunny

About Last Wednesday One-Liner…

Artist: Don’t take away my cynicism. It keeps me warm at night.

–85th & 2nd

Overheard by: i hear ya buddy

20 something guy to friend: You had to be Christian all night?

–Lexington Ave & 122nd

Overheard by: francyne pelchar

Girl on cell: Yeah, she totally snorted alcohol last night.

–Fulton & Water St.

Overheard by: Bennyyp

Girl walking her dog: So I call my brother this morning and tell him “I don’t know what happened last night, but I woke up with dice in my ass.”

–Smith St


Mom: Okay, we’re gonna play the rhyming game, okay? I’ll say a word and you tell me one that rhymes, okay? I’ll go first. Cat!
Kid: Pat.
Mom: Okay, your turn. Give me a word to rhyme.
Kid: Gorilla.

–Broadway & 101st St

Just Another Five Minutes, Mom

Woman tapping bum who passes out leaning against newly-arrived train: Excuse me, sir… Sir! You’re leaning against the train and it’s about to leave!
Bum: Oh! Huh? Thank you.
Woman: Excuse me, sir? You’re still on the train… Get off of that train, you fucking bum!
Bum: Yes ma’am!

–Downtown 6 platform, Grand Central

Overheard by: off white