Archive for December, 2019

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers– As Far As You Know

Man on cell, com­ing out of The Dark Knight: I’m sor­ry that I could­n’t pick up your call, I was in a very im­por­tant meet­ing with a client.

–Lowes Movie The­ater, 68th & Broad­way

Guy on cell walk­ing out of sub­way en­trance: I’m get­ting on the sub­way now.

–Park Place & Church Street

Over­heard by: Rich Mintz

Fe­male suit on cell: Well, I can’t talk long, I’m about to get on a plane. Yeah, JFK.

–Bat­tery Park

Over­heard by: pop pop

Over­weight woman to daugh­ter in pink tu­tu: You made me come here! Don’t lie! Don’t lie! Don’t lie!

–Ikea, Red­hook

Over­heard by: Emi­ly B.

An­noy­ing an­chor: I’m writ­ing a news­cast. I don’t have time to check facts.

–CBS News Head­quar­ters, 57th St

Over­heard by: The Shad­ow News Bun­ny

About Last Wednes­day One-Lin­er…

Artist: Don’t take away my cyn­i­cism. It keeps me warm at night.

–85th & 2nd

Over­heard by: i hear ya bud­dy

20 some­thing guy to friend: You had to be Chris­t­ian all night?

–Lex­ing­ton Ave & 122nd

Over­heard by: fran­cyne pelchar

Girl on cell: Yeah, she to­tal­ly snort­ed al­co­hol last night.

–Ful­ton & Wa­ter St.

Over­heard by: Ben­nyyp

Girl walk­ing her dog: So I call my broth­er this morn­ing and tell him “I don’t know what hap­pened last night, but I woke up with dice in my ass.”

–Smith St

Mozil­la!

Mom: Okay, we’re gonna play the rhyming game, okay? I’ll say a word and you tell me one that rhymes, okay? I’ll go first. Cat!
Kid: Pat.
Mom: Okay, your turn. Give me a word to rhyme.
Kid: Go­ril­la.

–Broad­way & 101st St

Just An­oth­er Five Min­utes, Mom

Woman tap­ping bum who pass­es out lean­ing against new­ly-ar­rived train: Ex­cuse me, sir… Sir! You’re lean­ing against the train and it’s about to leave!
Bum: Oh! Huh? Thank you.
Woman: Ex­cuse me, sir? You’re still on the train… Get off of that train, you fuck­ing bum!
Bum: Yes ma’am!

–Down­town 6 plat­form, Grand Cen­tral

Over­heard by: off white