Archive for 2019

“Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Wednesday One-Liner”

Hobo to female passerby (singing): Pretty woman, walking down the street/Pretty woman, eating a hamburger…

–Wendy’s, Union Square

Overheard by: Hungry Bystander

Salesgirl to another: You look pretty today…for a little Filipino girl.

–American Eagle, SoHo

Overheard by: Holly

Loud hobo walking through crowded train: Lots of beautiful ladies on this train. Beautiful white ladies. Beautiful black ladies. I like her hat. (turns to one shy-looking girl) Do you wear makeup? You shouldn’t. You don’t need it, you are so beautiful. If you have any makeup, just throw it away. Or send it to my girl, cuz she is ugly.

–Downtown 4 Train

50-something woman to pretty 20-something girl: I just wanted you to know that our husbands over there think you are one of the most beautiful girls they have ever seen. So now our husbands are going to have sex with my friend and I tonight. They may be thinking of you during, but thanks to you I am going to have an orgasm tonight, so thank you for being so gorgeous.

–Boat Basin Cafe

Overheard by: Megan W.

Guy on iPhone: You think because you’re pretty you can get away with that shit. Well, you’re wrong! You can get away with that shit because you’re rich!

–Duane Reade, Columbus Ave

Overheard by: Veronica at http://everythingisused.blogspot.com/

Wednesday 1492-Liners

20-something girl to friend: Who is Andrew Jackson and why is there a bloody musical about him?

–45th & Broadway

Overheard by: Meredith

40-something suit on cell: I vaguely remember who won World War II.

–14th St & 1st Ave

20-something dude, talking to couple: I’m not sure if I want to go out with her. She has the kind of STDs that Ben Franklin had.

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: Ducky

Early Modern Europe professor: Atheism during the renaissance in France was much like modern day marijuana use in America. You could get in trouble for it, but most likely won’t.

–Hunter College

Overheard by: Nessya