Archive for 2019

Also the Original Premise Of Sandals Jamaica

Woman #1 (seated) to woman #2 (entering train): Nice sandals!
Woman #2: Thanks.
Woman #1: I used to have those same sandals. I beat a man in his face with that sandal!
Woman #2: (silent)
Woman #1: Yeah, that motherfucker came up behind me on the boardwalk in Coney Island and tried to feel up on me. I beat him in the face with my sandal. And my husband told me, “you shouldn't have been wearing that short skirt.” I said, “I can wear whatever the fuck I want!”
Woman #2: Oh.

–6 Train

Overheard by: Allison B

Wednesday One-Liners Pretend They Know Better

Hipster guy: Dude, no one goes there, it's a ghost town–like Chernobyl or MySpace.

–Whole Foods

Hipster: In Thailand, the Pad Thai just didn't live up to my expectations.

–Wall Street Burger Shoppe

20-something white hipster girl: Well, she used to be some sort of hedge fund chick, but now she's a trapeze artist.

–41st St & Queens Blvd

Overheard by: alexander

Hipster in the YA section: I only eat organic food, so I can't shop at Whole Foods. Yeah, they seem like really nice people, but they shop at Whole Foods, and that's against my philosophy. Did you see the movie Zeitgeist? It's all true.

–The Strand

Drunk hipster: I hope my Wells Fargo goes through tonight, I'm gonna buy so much Bubba Gump.

–Steinway & 34th Ave, Queens

Hipster standing on long board with three Dachshunds on separate leashes, as they begin to pull him down the street: It's working… It's working!

–23rd & 3rd

Overheard by: ec