Young businesslady: I mean, I’m used to it. I go in the bathroom, and they’re all in there sticking they finger down their throats, all the fuckin time!
Young businessman: Yeah…
–57th St
Overheard by: Lagster
Archive for 2019
What Matters is a Happy Ending
Girl: God, it’s getting so cold! I should’ve brought my winter coat!
Guy: You don’t need a coat, you need a hot man to warm you up.
Girl: I need that, too…but I’d start with a coat.
–Carroll Gardens
Overheard by: Mallory McMahon
Ooh, the New Volkswagen!
Guy #1: Your car is totally Jewish.
Guy #2: My car is not Jewish. My car is a Jew hater.
–10th & Hudson
Sadly, This Makes Logical Sense
Guy: Yeah, I was in jail and got my Associate’s.
Girl: Yeah? Was it free?
Guy: 20 dollars or something.
Girl: Damn! I’m gonna be paying school loans forever! I should go to jail!
–Wai Cafe, 17th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: 167girl
Plus, We Both Like Ice Cream. And the Beatles!
Bimbo #1: Yeah, I really think I like him. We get along so well. I mean, we have a lot in common.
Bimbo #2: Oh yeah? Like what?
Bimbo #1: Well, we both love pugs.
Bimbo #2: As in the type of dog? Everyone loves pugs. How can you not like pugs? They are so fucking cute.
Bimbo #1 (challengingly): Yeah? Well, how about this one? Both of our dads died in plane crashes.
Bimbo #2: Oh. My. God. You are sooo meant to be together.
–Brooklyn Bound N Train
Overheard by: totes meant to be
Roll Tape, Please
Kid in baggy pants: What do you mean, you’re a virgin?
Kid shooting pool: Dude, I’m totally a virgin.
Kid in baggy pants: Trust me, you’re not a virgin.
–Pool hall near NYU
Overheard by: DJ
None of Them Would Talk to Me
Preppy guy #1: How was that bar in Midtown?
Preppy guy #2: Dude, it was awesome… It was full of hot chicks.
Preppy guy #1: If it was so great, why did you text me eight times in one hour and are now standing next to me pissing at this bar?
–Restroom, Delancey Bar
Overheard by: Al
She Unilaterally Invoked the Babe Discount
Dude: You just paid 12 dollars for a 15-dollar cab.
Chick: Shit, I forgot to tip.
–Worth & Church St
Points For Creative Inanity
Young English teacher, showing class movie of Greek tragedy Agamemnon: Does anyone else think that Agamemnon kinda looks like the Burger King King?
Student: Well, there goes my grade.
–Stuyvesant High
I Miss More Than I Catch
Hipster girl #1: Wow, how did you get your hair that kind of texture? Looks great.
Hipster girl #2: … Oral sex.
–Bedford Ave platform
