Bro #1, at the end of rapped verse: …rotund.
Bro #2: Yo, you gotta rhyme something with “rotund,” bro.
Bro #1: My name is Al Bun-dy, mothafucka.
Bro #2: Oh, shit!
Bro #1: Suck my d, mothafucka.
–1st Ave & St Mark's
Overheard by: Inslee
Archive for 2019
Yeah, My Giant Penis Piercing May Have Been a Mistake
Guy in crowd: Don't touch me!
Friend: Dude, maybe you shouldn't say that here.
Guy: No, I mean you–you're the one who peed on your hands.
–All Points West Ferry Line
Mostly CNN
Seven-year-old boy: You know Britney's on crack, she's on crack. And your girl Lindsay is so going to jail for selling cocaine. That Britney is crazy.
Aunt: That boy watches too much TV.
–LIRR
Overheard by: I think lindsay is going to jail too
Because You Love Me, Right? Honey?
Girl: Honey, are you listening to me?
Guy: No, I was thinking about putting my dick in your mouth.
Girl: Oh.
–Central Park
Overheard by: dead letter b
That's the Nicest Thing Anyone's Ever Said to Me!
Thin preppy girl to heavier stranger: Oh my god! I love your shoes.
Heavier stranger, looking her over: Girl, I wish I could give you a compliment, but you just look hungry.
–95th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Adriana
They’ll Understand about One Word in Ten
Kid: But what if they don’t know what I’m saying?
Mom: Don’t worry. In Canada they speak English.
Kid, crying: But I don’t speak English! I speak American!
–Central Park
I am an Individual
Nerd #1: From the way you talk about LISP, I think you went to MIT. Did you?
Nerd #2: Yes, I did!
— Union Square Park
Which, Coincidentally, Is Also the Name Of My Band.
Chick: I wanna get me one of those, like, silent dogs?
Guy: It'll probably be a sneaky dog.
–1 Train
Overheard by: de kraai
At the Back of the Store, Dad Made a Few Quick Purchases
Little kid pointing to box truck: Store!
Dad: Yes, that’s right. That’s a store.
–6th St, between Ave A & Ave B
Overheard by: epsd101
Cue Bass Line
Black girl: Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror, and I’m just so hot that I wish I could fuck myself.
White girl: Oh my god, me too!
Black girl: Really, you look at yourself naked in the mirror, too?
White girl: No, I look at you in the mirror, silly.
–34th & 8th
Overheard by: Roderic