Archive for 2019

I Dream Of Wednesday One-Liner

College girl eying set of six multicolored vibrators: Man, I wish I had six friends to give this to!

–Sex Shop, SoHo

Overheard by: It’s not what you think!

Older female suit on cell: Wish in one hand and piss in the other and see which hand fills up first!

–45th St & Lexington

Overheard by: isonomist

Obese black woman: I wish I had a British accent.

–R Train

Overheard by: Jon A.

Black teenage girl to her friend: I wish I were Indian or Spanish or something! Or you know, like Italian…

–92nd St & 59th Ave

Loud older white lady: Tina, I just found out today: I have to get two rounds of chemo. I can’t believe this … I wish I was dead. I have nothing in this life. Nothing! The way people have treated me, especially people in Soho, not coming to me for readings. The only person who I love is little Sylvan. She’s the only one. I could be with her 24 hours a day. That’s how much I love her. But I just wish I was dead! Dead! Okay, well, Tina, call me back.

–M21 Bus

Overheard by: Stephie

Wednesday One-Liners with Two Percent Body Fat

Hipster girl to another: Yeah, everyone has a crush on him, but he’s got halitosis. And a concave chest!


Hipster chick to friend: Whoa. I just felt totally suffocated by capitalist society.


Hipster in rainbow moonboots: So I say to this girl as I’m roofie-ing her juice box…

–Union Square

Overheard by: eliza

Hipster chick on cell: Hello? Hey! Guess what? I found my underwear!

–1st Ave

Overheard by: Aria Grillo

Hipster: I mean, you can’t just rock a sombrero and think that it’s cool.

–6th & 10th

Overheard by: El

Hipster chick to tourist friends: … And across the street is where Albert Greenberg lived for a while.

–E 2nd St, across street from Allen Ginsberg’s former walkup

Overheard by: midtown_strangler

Hipster chick: I wanna create a website: Nine-Eleven — get over it.

–4 train

Overheard by: Hurtz donit

But I Didn’t Even Get to Describe the Size and Texture

College guy #1: I’ve been working hard to lose weight this year.
College guy #2: I can certainly see the change in your face.
College guy #1: Yeah, I’ve been crapping a lot lately.
(college guy #2 is silent)
College guy #1: I mean I’ve been dumping a whole lot.
College guy #2: Okay, that’s enough.

–Gym, Columbia University