Homeless lady to another: So you’re a certified drug addict, right?
–23rd & Broadway
Homeless man with bag: Ladies and Gentlemen, I have this Liz Claiborne pocketbook for sale. A 60-dollar value for 35 dollars. [Pause] I have this pocketbook for sale. A 50-dollar value and I’m selling it for only 40 dollars. [Pause] Anybody got change for a five? Ladies and Gentlemen, I got a Claiborne bag valued at 80 dollars but I’m sellin’ it for 25. Man, this is a nice bag. If you people don’t buy, I’ll just keep it for myself.
–Brooklyn-bound N train
Overheard by: Jennifer
Hobo: But I made a huge mistake, see? I spent eight dollars and 92 cents on Arm and Hammer!
–84th & Broadway
Overheard by: Alex
Homeless guy: Valet service, right here! Valet service!
–Pelham Bay Station
Overheard by: SilentButDeadly
Hobo to hot chick: Wow! You’re the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen in my life!
–Broadway & 116th
Rapping panhandler: I accept cash, checks, food stamps, benefit cards, money orders…
–Downtown 1 train
Street bum: [To no one] I’ll be back right after these messages.
–Bleecker & Elizabeth
Overheard by: al b