Archive for 2019

Negative Twenty ‘Hood Points Just for Knowing the Word ‘Cosine’

Ghetto wannabe #1: Yo’ rhymes are so lame it’s like you took the cosine.
Ghetto wannabe #2: You so poor you go fishin’ for dimes.

–Woodhaven, Queens

Overheard by: drendar

Headline by: Against Marj

Runners-Up:

· “Bill and Hillary Prepare for Next Year’s Video Music Awards” – DoubleJ

· “Cosine? Like from Nigganometry?” – Big Larry

· “E = MC Hammer Squared” – Christina

· “M.C. Tangent and D.J. Non-Sequitur.” – SandmanEsq

· “My rhymes are so hype I can divide by zero, Burnin’ down the ghetto like my name is Nero” – mk

· “Whitey got no algorithm” – Charlie

· “Why Pythagorus never got sined.” – Julie Baber

· “Yo’ so dumb you only know pi to 3.14159” – arielle


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OMG! It’s Wednesday One-liners!

Priest: Please exit using the side doors as there are things going on in the front.

–St. Patrick’s Cathedral

Overheard by: Bryant

Old lady: Jesus on a check? Oh well, I’m an atheist, so it doesn’t really matter to me.

–E. 33rd Street office

Woman on cell: He can’t hear you when you hate me…You hate me? Then he can’t hear you! He can’t hear you! He can’t hear you! Jehovah can’t hear you when you hate me!

–42nd between 10th & 11th

Woman: You know, they tell those suicide bombers they’ll get 99 virgins when you get to heaven. 99 virgins! But if you blow yourself up in Brooklyn, you only get 50. Half off for Brooklyn.

–CVS, Harlem

Puerto Rican guy: Jesus loves you. I love you. I know you don’t want to listen to me. I know about your bunny rabbit… Will you be one of the 144,000 chosen?…On July 30th we will all come together. I will wear a kippa. But you know you have to accept the savior…There are 632,000 lords…I will stop talking to you now. The Flintstones told me not to.

–4 train

Overheard by: Matt F.