Archive for 2019

Rorschach Hands: the New Psy­cho­an­a­lyt­i­cal Tech­nique

Pro­fes­sor: When vas­sals would take an oath of loy­al­ty they would kneel in front of the king and put their hands like this [puts hands in prayer po­si­tion]. Now, what does this look like?
Stu­dent: A vagi­na?
Pro­fes­sor: No! Pray­ing! It looks like pray­ing!

–Ford­ham Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: Ma­ri­na C

Head­line by: belle

Run­ners-Up:

· “Ei­ther way, it helps to kneel.” — Lind­sey

· “From The Da Vin­ci Code’s delet­ed scenes.” — nick

· “In a re­fresh­ing move from the anus, to­day’s head­line con­test is brought to you by the vagi­na. That’s right, Over­heard in New York is wip­ing back-to-front.” — er­ak

· “Now Get Your Cock Up In This” — B.M.D.

· “Okay, maybe a LIT­TLE prayer in schools would­n’t hurt” — space coy­ote

· “Putting the Pussy on a Pedestal” — Clof


Click here to see the new Head­line Con­test

Keep Your Wednes­day One-Lin­er in Your Pants, Dude

Prep­py guy: This may be the last thing I say with my pe­nis at­tached, but…

–Park Slope

Over­heard by: Hunter

Girl on cell: Well, I mean… his pe­nis is re­al­ly im­por­tant here, if his is bet­ter I’ll take him!

–26th St & Lex­ing­ton Ave

Over­heard by: your mom

Asian guy: Every­one else was on the floor. Every­one had a pe­nis in their face.

–D Train

Over­heard by: Jon A.

Girl on cell: All I’m say­ing is: don’t jump on the first pe­nis that comes along!

–Broad­way

Boss, about weightlift­ing: My gen­i­tals were so in­vert­ed I used to crap my pe­nis.

–5th Ave

Teacher: There are about six eu­phemisms for “pe­nis” in the first scene!

–Ju­nior High School

Over­heard by: gaby­gril­lz

Not to Men­tion an Over­bear­ing Mom­ma.

Mom to young boy, as they leave cafe: Hon­ey, do you want that cross you found on the ta­ble?
Young boy: Yeah. (picks it up).
Mom: Every Jew­ish boy needs a bro­ken cross, right?

–Hous­ton & Lafayette

Over­heard by: Chris K.

And That Was When Fat Al­bert Went Straight

Five thugs as­cend­ing sub­way steps see cop on the street: Ho! The pigs! Oink! Bust­ed! [They run and one starts breath­ing heav­i­ly, wheezing.]Cop: Maybe you should have tak­en the el­e­va­tor.
Fat thug: Shit! There’s an el­e­va­tor?! Where’s the el­e­va­tor?! [Af­ter they all go to look for the el­e­va­tor] There’s no el­e­va­tor! He tricked us!

–Lorimer St, Brook­lyn

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Cel­e­brate V‑J-J Day

Girl to male friend: I mean, they were both lousy lovers, but when it came right down to it her vagi­na was just too wide.

–110th & Broad­way

Ghet­to teen: Yo, girl! Don’t be pickin’ at yo’ pussy like that in the street! You’ll be on YouTube to­mor­row!

–South St Sea­port

Over­heard by: Big Lar­ry

JAP: I don’t un­der­stand how a ba­by just fell out of her vagi­na and she did­n’t feel any­thing!

–Out­side Lafayette St dorm, NYU

Over­heard by: Philouza

Girl on cell: I ful­ly sup­port the idea of a vagi­na fac­to­ry.

–7th St & Bed­ford Ave

Over­heard by: Liam Cub­bin

Bim­bette: Tiff, do these make my vagi­na look fur­ry?

–Dress­ing room, Ma­cy’s

Over­heard by: SarahM

Chick: My vagi­na seems so crooked to­day…

–23rd & 5th

Over­heard by: Bruce

Girl on cell: No! He was se­ri­ous­ly, like, drilling for oil or some­thing. My vagi­na is not a source of fos­sil fu­el!

–Cen­tral Park

Over­heard by: But it’d be cool if it were