Archive for 2019

They Even Go to the Bathroom Crazy

Hobo: Don’t you be lookin’ at my dick, motherfucker!
Homed: What?
Hobo: You look at you own dick when you takin’ a piss!
Homed: I wasn’t looking–
Hobo: Mutherfuckin’ faggot. Probably same faggot pissin’ AIDS all over everybody. Oughta put a bullet up you ass…

–Grand Central men’s room

Overheard by: john chianese

A hobo has peed on himself.

Hobo: What the fuck? Can’t a brotha go to the bathroom without all you bitches starin’ like it’s something new?

–Prospect Park

People From Upstate Love This

Cali girl #1: Where do you go again?
Cornell girl: Cornell.
Cali girl #2: Oh. Where is that?
Cali girl #1: Oh my god, don’t you know it’s in New York?
Cali girl #2: Umm no, you idiot, we’re in New York and she said she just drove hours to get here.
Cali girl #1: Oh right..I think it’s in like.. the state that New York is in? New York state?
Cornell girl: Yeah. Ithaca.
Cali girl #1: Right right! Middle of nowhere, right? Shithaca!
Cornell girl: Umm.

–59th & 5th

Overheard by: love cali girls

If She Owns a Set Of Reusable Shopping Bags, I'll Faint

Guy #1: Yo, there's some fat asses up in this mufucker.
Guy #2: You right. You right.
Guy #1: I always figured the grocery store was the best place to bag a bitch. She'll take of your family, she'll take care of your finances, and she got a fat ass. That's a triple threat, son.

–Super Stop and Shop, Flatbush Ave, Brooklyn

Wednesday One-Liners Bring Up the Rear

20-something girl on phone: So I said, stick it in my arse and then we'll talk business!

–Central Park

Overheard by: Ken Adams

Drag queen: Give me a bathroom, a bar of soap, and some lube and I'm good to go. Hold my cheeze doodles.

–2nd Ave

Cross-dresser, stumbling down steps with man out of apartment building: That really hurt my ass!

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: D

20-something hot girt to friend: We're not even Facebook friends… She can't just be talking to me about anal beads.

–PATH Train