Archive for 2019

They Even Go to the Bath­room Crazy

Hobo: Don’t you be lookin’ at my dick, moth­er­fuck­er!
Homed: What?
Hobo: You look at you own dick when you takin’ a piss!
Homed: I was­n’t look­ing–
Hobo: Muther­fuckin’ fag­got. Prob­a­bly same fag­got pissin’ AIDS all over every­body. Ough­ta put a bul­let up you ass…

–Grand Cen­tral men’s room

Over­heard by: john chi­anese

A hobo has peed on him­self.

Hobo: What the fuck? Can’t a brotha go to the bath­room with­out all you bitch­es starin’ like it’s some­thing new?

–Prospect Park

Peo­ple From Up­state Love This

Cali girl #1: Where do you go again?
Cor­nell girl: Cor­nell.
Cali girl #2: Oh. Where is that?
Cali girl #1: Oh my god, don’t you know it’s in New York?
Cali girl #2: Umm no, you id­iot, we’re in New York and she said she just drove hours to get here.
Cali girl #1: Oh right..I think it’s in like.. the state that New York is in? New York state?
Cor­nell girl: Yeah. Itha­ca.
Cali girl #1: Right right! Mid­dle of nowhere, right? Shitha­ca!
Cor­nell girl: Umm.

–59th & 5th

Over­heard by: love cali girls

If She Owns a Set Of Reusable Shop­ping Bags, I’ll Faint

Guy #1: Yo, there’s some fat ass­es up in this mu­fuck­er.
Guy #2: You right. You right.
Guy #1: I al­ways fig­ured the gro­cery store was the best place to bag a bitch. She’ll take of your fam­i­ly, she’ll take care of your fi­nances, and she got a fat ass. That’s a triple threat, son.

–Su­per Stop and Shop, Flat­bush Ave, Brook­lyn

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Bring Up the Rear

20-some­thing girl on phone: So I said, stick it in my ar­se and then we’ll talk busi­ness!

–Cen­tral Park

Over­heard by: Ken Adams

Drag queen: Give me a bath­room, a bar of soap, and some lube and I’m good to go. Hold my cheeze doo­dles.

–2nd Ave

Cross-dress­er, stum­bling down steps with man out of apart­ment build­ing: That re­al­ly hurt my ass!

–Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: D

20-some­thing hot girt to friend: We’re not even Face­book friends… She can’t just be talk­ing to me about anal beads.

–PATH Train