Archive for 2019

Mozilla!

Mom: Okay, we're gonna play the rhyming game, okay? I'll say a word and you tell me one that rhymes, okay? I'll go first. Cat!
Kid: Pat.
Mom: Okay, your turn. Give me a word to rhyme.
Kid: Gorilla.

–Broadway & 101st St

Just Another Five Minutes, Mom

Woman tapping bum who passes out leaning against newly-arrived train: Excuse me, sir… Sir! You’re leaning against the train and it’s about to leave!
Bum: Oh! Huh? Thank you.
Woman: Excuse me, sir? You’re still on the train… Get off of that train, you fucking bum!
Bum: Yes ma’am!

–Downtown 6 platform, Grand Central

Overheard by: off white

Ever Since I Accidentally Tripped Over Them

Tall girl: I think I saw his brother in the chorus of a show I saw for my job.
Short girl: Word.
Tall girl: Yeah.
Short girl: Yeah. There's four of them. And they're all beautiful. It's so not fair. I'm weird-looking and, according to my grandma, my brother looks like the love child of Jake Gyllenhaal and Sanjay Gupta.
Tall girl: And your parents are short Jews.
Short girl: I can't believe you remember that.

–Downtown 1 Train

Some Pretty Sharp Wednesday One-Liners

Boyfriend, after kissing obviously sick girlfriend: Ugh! That was like a germ syringe made out of lips.

–116th & Broadway

NYU student: I love rolling over and having used heroin needles stabbing me in my trachea.

–NYU

Overheard by: Angela

Guy on cell: Seriously, you should come to the park, it's a beautiful day today. Take your dog out, go for a stroll, and find some hypodermic needles on the ground.

–Corona Park, Flushing Meadows

Skinny blonde: Is this sugar-free?

–Flu Shot Line, NYU Kimmel Center

Overheard by: Jamie