Mom: Okay, we’re gonna play the rhyming game, okay? I’ll say a word and you tell me one that rhymes, okay? I’ll go first. Cat!
Kid: Pat.
Mom: Okay, your turn. Give me a word to rhyme.
Kid: Gorilla.
–Broadway & 101st St
Archive for 2019
Some People Have a Knack for Getting Right to the Heart of a Matter
White woman: How are things with John?
Asian woman: I don’t know. He’s just not manly enough for me. He listens to Miss Saigon at the gym. Maybe he has an Asian fetish.
White woman: Sounds more like he has a dick fetish.
–E Train
Overheard by: Brad
Behind the Laughter: Obscenities and Addiction
Balloon-Twisting clown: Ha ha! What are you, some kind of fucking gypsy?
Face painter dressed as gypsy: Do you want a fucking cigarette or what?
–Central Park Zoo
Overheard by: I quit, but that juggler looks like he could
Just Another Five Minutes, Mom
Woman tapping bum who passes out leaning against newly-arrived train: Excuse me, sir… Sir! You’re leaning against the train and it’s about to leave!
Bum: Oh! Huh? Thank you.
Woman: Excuse me, sir? You’re still on the train… Get off of that train, you fucking bum!
Bum: Yes ma’am!
–Downtown 6 platform, Grand Central
Overheard by: off white
Cigarettes & Alcohol Fuel Wednesday One-liners
Girl: Yeah, they totally weren’t always addictive. Like, they started putting drugs into cigarettes to make them addictive. Nicotine wasn’t even addictive a long time ago, it’s only recently they have made it that way by putting stuff into it.
–1 train
Overheard by: Nathan B
Where Jeopardy! Winners Come From
Mom pushing stroller: … And how do you spell ‘Loch Ness’?
Four-year-old boy: L, um… L‑O, um… um… L‑O-C-H-N-E-S‑S
–17th St & Irving Pl
One to Spare
Man: Yeah, he broke his leg.
Woman: Oh, really? That’s too bad.
Man: Oh, it’s okay though, he broke both of them.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Christopher Benton
Ever Since I Accidentally Tripped Over Them
Tall girl: I think I saw his brother in the chorus of a show I saw for my job.
Short girl: Word.
Tall girl: Yeah.
Short girl: Yeah. There’s four of them. And they’re all beautiful. It’s so not fair. I’m weird-looking and, according to my grandma, my brother looks like the love child of Jake Gyllenhaal and Sanjay Gupta.
Tall girl: And your parents are short Jews.
Short girl: I can’t believe you remember that.
–Downtown 1 Train
Some Pretty Sharp Wednesday One-Liners
Boyfriend, after kissing obviously sick girlfriend: Ugh! That was like a germ syringe made out of lips.
–116th & Broadway
NYU student: I love rolling over and having used heroin needles stabbing me in my trachea.
–NYU
Overheard by: Angela
Guy on cell: Seriously, you should come to the park, it’s a beautiful day today. Take your dog out, go for a stroll, and find some hypodermic needles on the ground.
–Corona Park, Flushing Meadows
Skinny blonde: Is this sugar-free?
–Flu Shot Line, NYU Kimmel Center
Overheard by: Jamie
When Snobs Sing Country Music
Curly-haired girl: When I think back on all the prestigious internships I had… I really regret how awkward I was.
Friend: (nods vigorously)
–Union Square
Overheard by: Trist
