Archive for 2019

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Wish They Could DVR Their Lives, In­stead

Young woman on el­e­va­tor to friend: I have a date this Thurs­day with a guy I met on match.com, and I was so ex­cit­ed, but then I re­mem­bered Thurs­day is Grey’s Anato­my! I mean, I’m DVRing it, but that’s so not the same.

–Wall St.

Over­heard by: krazy­hip­pie

Large 40-some­thing woman: But I’m not gonna be on Mau­ry sayin’, “I’m 100% sure!” Be­cause I’m not!

–10th St & FDR

20-some­thing woman on cell: It’s white, sleeveless…well, you don’t watch Gos­sip Girl but it’s to­tal­ly Blair-wor­thy.

–W 19th & 5th Ave

Ap­palled girl to friend: So, I guess he just could­n’t hold it in and need­ed to share with every­one around him, so he just shout­ed out “Fuck! I miss Gos­sip Girl!”

–Mer­cer & W 3rd

Saucy Lati­na: Tele­mu­n­do makes BET look like The His­to­ry Chan­nel.

–171st St & Broad­way

Over­heard by: The Low Hat

Guy to friend: My girl­friend is cool if you and your boys are…she loves the BBC when she’s high.

–PATH Sta­tion

Over­heard by: smjc­nj

30-some­thing woman on cell: Re­mem­ber sea­son one of The Hills? What a sim­pler time.

–Co­lum­bia Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: The Evil Tri­an­gle

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Wor­ry That Truck­er Hats May Be Out

Hip­ster girl: I hate it when ob­vi­ous­ly un­cool peo­ple wear flan­nel.

–E Train

Over­heard by: dru

Hip­ster girl: Shark Week is a week? It last­ed like a month last year.

–N 6th St, Williams­burg

Frumpy hip­ster: No! Hip­sters melt in the rain!

–Mc­Car­ren Park Pool, Green­point

Hip­ster on cell: No, I’ve nev­er heard of a noc­tur­nal squir­rel… Do you even… Wait, are you try­ing to tell me you’re gay?! No? Well, this is awk­ward…

–Cen­tral Park

Hip­ster guy to an­oth­er: Have you ever played with your­self un­der a black­light? There’s like all kinds of shit on your dick!

–Union Hall

Over­heard by: Cass

Frumpy mom, hold­ing up item for hip­ster tween daugh­ter: Cather­ine, is this iron­ic?

–Bea­con’s Clos­et, Williams­burg