Archive for January, 2020

Night Train, Thun­der­bird and Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Crazy hobo with gui­tar to stranger: Damn… you in­vit­ed a lot of peo­ple.

–1 Train

Hobo to young mar­ried cou­ple: I have found the promised land. Se­ri­ous­ly. I’d get a plane tick­et right now, but it’d be cheap­er to go to con­fes­sion for a week and then get hit by a bus. Re­mind me to tell you about this lat­er.

–Times Square

Over­heard by: Oliv­er

Grimy hobo: Hey, do you guys have any change? Hey, do you guys have any change?
(20-some­thing girl walks past him, with busi­ness­man a few steps be­hind) Hey, do you guys want to have sex? Uh, I mean…

–W 3rd & Thomp­son

Hobo, tak­ing do­na­tions to help the home­less, count­ing coins: 25…50…60… (grabs fist­ful of coins sticks in pock­et) Tax re­bate!

–Union Square

Is It Too Late to Give You a Puz­zle?

Teen ghet­to girl: If you had a daugh­ter…
Teen ghet­to boy: If I had a daugh­ter, there ain’t no way she’d be leav­in’ the house with them short shorts and shit. And she fo’ sho’ would­n’t be playin’ with them bar­bi­es. Bar­bi­es is evil. They mess with girls’ brains, makin’ them think they need to show off their shit and have ba­bies when theys like 15. No bar­bi­es. On­ly puz­zles.

–Man­hat­tan bound N train

Over­heard by: lau­ren