Archive for February, 2020

…By Show Of Hands?

Woman begging: Spare some change? Anyone spare some change? Can I have the rest of your drink?
Woman sitting on platform bench: I'm not giving you my fucking drink!
Woman begging: Eat me!
Woman sitting on platform bench: Who the fuck would want to eat your pussy?

–7 Train

Overheard by: Scott

…Now You Have Fake Hunger

Girl: I'm still so hungry!
Guy: I told you, you should have eaten some of my California roll.
Girl: But it had dead animal in it. (pause) Well, fake dead animal, but still… see more.
Guy: Yeah, I get it…

–Christopher St

When Sufferers Meet Surfers

Young Jewish boy handing out flyers: Are you Jewish?
Couple walking by: No, we're Australian.

–7th Ave & 56th St

Overheard by: Lisa

NewsFlash: Crackhead Slain on 2 Train! Film at Eleven.

Crackhead to white girl: I want a little white girl. Okay, a little white lily, she so mad, I want a little white girl, not a black girl, they broke my heart too many times. You think I'm harassing you because you're white and I'm black.
Girl on train: I'm not white, okay? I'm not white, stop looking at me. I don't look remotely white, or Caucasian.
Crackhead: I'm not into fat girls, so I'll look somewhere else. I'm not into fat jokes, just black jokes. You probably think I'm into white guys, not white girls, just call me gay. Are you trying to slip away?
Girl on train: Did he just call me fat?

–Downtown 2 Train

Is That a Pro Bono in Your Pocket, or Are You Just Glad to See Me?

Middle Eastern guy with only very slight accent, to his lawyer: So do you think the judge will let me out of the contract?
Middle aged white lawyer: Sure. Just say that the interpreter signed the contract without telling you what it said.

–Civil Court, Sutphin Blvd, Jamaica

Overheard by: Big Larry