Archive for February, 2020

If You Make It Back, It Means You’re in the Fra­ter­ni­ty

Con­duc­tor: Could the loud and row­dy pas­sen­gers please calm down? We ask that pas­sen­gers on the train re­spect the oth­er rid­ers.
Sailor #1: Fuck you! Fuck you! I don’t give a fuck what you say. I do what­ev­er I want.
Sailor #2: Wait, what if he gets mad and, like, drops us off in a dif­fer­ent state?!

–6 train

Tonight’s Movie: It’s Com­pli­cat­ed

Guy: We’re not friends on Face­book.
Girl: But how do you see my pic­tures?
Guy: Well, there’s some of your pho­tos that are pri­vate, and oth­ers that are pub­lic. When I go to your page, which is of­ten, I can just search through those, or go to your friends’ pages. A lot of them don’t have pri­vate pic­tures.

–Star­bucks, Union Square

Over­heard by: Randy

Your Ed­i­tors All Just Be­came Strong Black Women

Girl #1: So Lau­ren had this lit­tle marsh­mal­low dog, and we were play­ing cha­rades, right, wait­ing for Beck­y’s play? One of my friends put his plate down ’cause it was his turn and we hear, like, this fft-fft noise and we see the fuck­ing dog take off with the plate that was big­ger than her, just drag­ging it on the ground.
Girl #2: That is so cute!
Girl #1: Oh, Jen­ny, the guy whose turn it was was the guy who got mar­ried in the mall and just had a ba­by, that video I showed you. Beck­y’s ex. Got mar­ried in the mall.
Girl #2: Wow.
Girl #3: White peo­ple…

–The Met