Archive for March, 2020

I’m Pret­ty Sure It’s Called The G Spot

Girl #1: Man, if I’m go­ing to go to that par­ty tonight, I got­ta shave my hair.
Girl #2: Yeah, me too. Where is the best price around here?
Girl #3: There’s one on Lex­ing­ton by my place, and a guy does it, and he’s so hot I just want him to ac­ci­den­tal­ly shove his dick up me.
Girl #2: Then we’ll go to that place!

–6 Train

Over­heard by: An­drew

Mom Al­so Be­lieves The 9/11 Com­mis­sion Re­port

Daugh­ter: I’m itchy.
An­noy­ing moth­er: Don’t you dare take off your shoes! I mean it.
Daugh­ter: But I’m itchy!
An­noy­ing moth­er: I al­ready told you–do not take off your shoes!
Daugh­ter: I’m itchy!
An­noy­ing moth­er: Don’t!
Daugh­ter: But I’m itchy!
An­noy­ing moth­er: Do you know why your feet are itchy? Be­cause you don’t eat your veg­eta­bles!

–Q64 Bus

Over­heard by: Re­bec­ca

…Just Not So­cial­ly.

Guy at par­ty: So I just moved to Long Is­land City, I’m not sure how I feel about not be­ing in Man­hat­tan.
Girl: While at least you’re close to the Hamp­tons!

–19th St & 11th Ave

Not Sure You Avoid That with the “I Heart NY” Shirt, Though

Chick: Would it have been okay if I’d worn my shirt with a ze­bra on it to­day, or would that be like wear­ing a band shirt to a con­cert?
Dude: Yeah, that’s ex­act­ly how it would be. Like, it’s okay if you wear the open­ing band’s shirt, but not the head­lin­er. If you wore your ze­bra shirt, we would’ve had to skip the ze­bras.
Chick: You’re right, I would have looked sooo groupie.

–Bronx Zoo

Over­heard by: Sromeo

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers? Kinky!

300-pound girl on phone: Girl, you showed your whole booty crack? I know, he’s in­to that kinky down­town shit.

–14th St & 6th Ave

Over­heard by: bas­tar­do

Loud up­state girl: I think…doin’ any kin­da re­search in­ta fur­ries? You’re in trou­ble.

–Hud­son & Hous­ton

Over­heard by: Har­ri­et Vane

Hoochie: I mean, you gonna hand­cuff me, then hand­cuff me. But, you know, when I got­ta go do my shit, I got­ta go.

–1st St & 1st Ave

Over­heard by: ste­phie

Curly-haired girl on cell: I’ve to­tal­ly got a cold too! But I’ve al­so got bondage tape. And a cell phone ac­ti­vat­ed vi­bra­tor.

–Ouidad sa­lon

Over­heard by: Wild Dog Boy

Suit to an­oth­er, while hav­ing lunch on bench: You put duct tape on her mouth and you do it from be­hind.

–Cen­tral Park

Guy at ta­ble: You know, she’s a qual­i­ty girl, even when I was in hand­cuffs, I could tell that she was a qual­i­ty girl.

–Carnegie Deli

Over­heard by: Spazz