Archive for June, 2020

The Wednes­day One-lin­ers NYC Tour Guide

Black woman: This here is Chelsea. It’s where all the rich ho­mo­sex­u­als live.

–18th Street be­tween 7th & 8th

Teenage kid: There are some hot Chi­nese bitch­es at this stop, son!

–Ful­ton Street G sta­tion

Over­heard by: Thomas Bugarin

Woman: Well, I’m in So­ho now…

–Union Square

Over­heard by: Davis Mc­Davis

Queer: Oh, I went to Queens once. By ac­ci­dent. I was com­ing back from La Guardia and the taxi dri­ver said he was tak­ing me on a short­cut.

–Starlight, Av­enue A

Over­heard by: Lukas

Thug: Next stop: Ghet­toville, USA! That’s re­al Amer­i­ca, none of this Japan­ese-Amer­i­can bull­shit. Mmmm…smell that? Smells like the East Vil­lage!

–A train

Guy: This is the new Wall Street Times build­ing.

–41st & 8th con­struc­tion site

Man: See, that’s the one. If I was gonna write it a let­ter, I would be­gin, “Dear Ugli­est Build­ing in New York City”.

–West­in Ho­tel, Times Square

Over­heard by: Kay­la Ca­gan

Guy on cell: Bond Street? It’s north of Hous­ton Street so it’s not in So­ho. But I don’t know what the neigh­bor­hood is called.

–City Hall Park

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Can Be Read on the IPad

Guy: He spends half the time sum­ma­riz­ing the text with pan­tomime.

–Com­put­er Lab, NYU

Over­heard by: AH

Nor­mal-look­ing guy, con­vers­ing with in­vis­i­ble per­son: What? You can’t read and write? Man, you ain’t nev­er gonna get your man­hood back if you don’t know how to read and write!

–F Train

Over­heard by: DeaM­cK

Girl in­side store: Books that aren’t spi­ral-bound. That’s my prob­lem in life. I can’t turn the pages.

–Sta­ples

Over­heard by: JF

Am new york guy: Read about some­thing in am New York! Read about some­thing in am New York!

–34th St

Over­heard by: erkala

Mom: Okay, so his pun­ish­ment is he’s not al­lowed to read…

–14th St & 4th Ave

I Am So Telling Her about the Lip­stick

Man: I love your mom.
Woman: What?! No you don’t!
Man: I al­ways speak well of her.
Woman: No, you don’t.
Man: I don’t say, ‘I gave your mom 20 bucks for a cab home last night.’ I don’t say, ‘Tell your mom to stop chang­ing her lip­stick — my dick looks like a rain­bow.’ I don’t say, ‘Af­ter meet­ing your mom, all my friends have her­pes.’ In fact, I don’t say any­thing rude at all.
Woman, cell ring­ing: It’s mom call­ing.

–Union Square

Over­heard by: Dave