Archive for June, 2020

Wednesday One-Liners Can Be Read on the IPad

Guy: He spends half the time summarizing the text with pantomime.

–Computer Lab, NYU

Overheard by: AH

Normal-looking guy, conversing with invisible person: What? You can’t read and write? Man, you ain’t never gonna get your manhood back if you don’t know how to read and write!

–F Train

Overheard by: DeaMcK

Girl inside store: Books that aren’t spiral-bound. That’s my problem in life. I can’t turn the pages.

–Staples

Overheard by: JF

Am new york guy: Read about something in am New York! Read about something in am New York!

–34th St

Overheard by: erkala

Mom: Okay, so his punishment is he’s not allowed to read…

–14th St & 4th Ave

I Am So Telling Her about the Lipstick

Man: I love your mom.
Woman: What?! No you don’t!
Man: I always speak well of her.
Woman: No, you don’t.
Man: I don’t say, ‘I gave your mom 20 bucks for a cab home last night.’ I don’t say, ‘Tell your mom to stop changing her lipstick — my dick looks like a rainbow.’ I don’t say, ‘After meeting your mom, all my friends have herpes.’ In fact, I don’t say anything rude at all.
Woman, cell ringing: It’s mom calling.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Dave