Archive for September, 2020

…Away from Wit­ness­es

Mom on stoop: Don’t you skate too far from the house!
Four-year-old boy on skate­board: Moooooooom! Go in­si­i­i­i­ide the hoooooouse! I don’t need you!
Mom neigh­bor: Did he just tell me to go in­side the house? Boy, you just wait till *you* come in­side the house!

–Mon­roe & Franklin, Bed-Stuy

Over­heard by: Tiger­tail

We’re Not, Dear Read­er

Gay kid: And Sarah asked her boyfriend Zak if he want­ed to have a three­some with Nick and…
Hobo, in­ter­rupt­ing: Yes!
Fag hag: Je­sus!
Gay kid: We’re pre­tend­ing that did­n’t hap­pen.

–Times Square