Archive for 2020

Wednesday #2‑Liners

Woman on cell: It was just the complete lack of compassion. Lucy was never nice to Lisa. She was never nice to Lola either. She was just a poop – well, she is a poop.

–Fort Greene Park

Overheard by: Morning Glory

Woman on cell: Aw, yay, he pooped a lot!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Alannah Halliday

Guy to another, talking business: I would definitely punt that dude’s fucking dog and then make him eat its shit.

–Greenpoint

Guy on phone: Hold on, I’m picking up poop.

–9th St, Brooklyn


I Rock!

Mom: First it will be spring, then summer, then time for you to go to kindergarten.
Four-year-old boy: Will there be nice kids there?
Mom: Are there nice kids at your day care now?
Four-year-old boy: Yeees…
Mom: You’re the only bad kid at day care.
Four-year-old boy: I knooow!

–Uptown D Train

The Naked Singing Telegram Rethinks Her Business Model

Chick #1: How’d it go?
Chick #2: Good. I sang the three notes good and he looked up from his computer and smiled.
Chick #1: Hmmm, good.
Chick #2: Or he could have been looking at these…
Chick #1: Oh yeah, he was checking out your boobs!

–Elevator, W 26 St between 6th Ave & 7th Ave

Overheard by: mondo man