Meathead #1: I hate Union Square. There is too many of those…what do you call ’em, beatniks?
Meathead #2: You mean yuppies?
Meathead #1: Yeah, that’s it.
–53rd & Broadway
Meathead #1: I hate Union Square. There is too many of those…what do you call ’em, beatniks?
Meathead #2: You mean yuppies?
Meathead #1: Yeah, that’s it.
–53rd & Broadway
Conductor: Please throw away your newspapers and garbage in the trash cans on station platforms and know that the trash cans can only hold two human bodies at a time.
–LIRR
New York Post guy: New York Post! Free New York Post! (hands huge stack of papers to passerby) Thanks, brother. Just throw the rest in the trash can down the block.
–40th & 6th
Carriage driver to horse: You see that chestnut? That’s called “Eurotrash.”
–Central Park South
Overheard by: Andy
Giant old man to screaming and jumping children: You look like Garbage Pail Kids. Stop it.
–Madison & Nostrand, Brooklyn
Overheard by: g
Conductor: Please place anyone who has become garbage en route in the appropriate receptacle.
–R Train
Overheard by: Jess
Woman walking down the street with a small bag of garbage: Fuck it. (drops bag of garbage nonchalantly, keeps walking)
–W 19th
Screaming child: I want a new hat!
Latino nanny: Calm down before I turn you into soup!
–Madison Ave & 81st St
Old lady leaving The Tony Danza Show #1: Grazie!
Old lady leaving The Tony Danza Show #2: Why didn’t you wear the right shoes?
Old lady leaving The Tony Danza Show #1: No, no, these are fine.
Old lady leaving The Tony Danza Show #2: Aaaah, blow me. They’re terrible.
–66th between Columbus & Central Park West
Overheard by: MojoSaves
Girl: Is it spring that makes the cherry blossoms bloom, or the cherry blossoms that make spring bloom?
–Hunter College cafeteria
Overheard by: Traczie
Tourist chick looking at subway map: Is the Irish pub on here?
–6 train, Grand Central
Overheard by: Dee Phunk
Woman on cell, looking at directions: Numbers go up, right?
–23rd & 6th
Overheard by: V
Tourist girl: Manhattan is an island?! Is it a man-made island?
–N train
Overheard by: Sirius
Chick to friend: What religion is Buddha the king of?
–Central Park
Blonde: Why haven’t they just fixed the economy already?
–L train
Overheard by: widdershawns
Teen boy #1: Man, I tell you, da reason France don’t want us in Iraq is dat dey know the second we done in Baddad we is headed right over the border and straight into Paris.
Teen boy #2: Nigga, you’se is ignorant. Iraq ain’t next to no France.
Teen boy #1: Nah man, I ain’t sayin it is right up on France, but, you know, it goes Iraq, Germany, some otha country, then France, so it is close.
Teen boy #2: Ain’t you eva seen no map? I’ma gonna show you when we get to school. That shit is in Africa, between Lidia and Egypt.
–F train
Overheard by: Ed Salcedo
Guy: I asked you if you knew where he lived; you pointed to Iraq!
Girl: Well, I don’t know. How was I supposed to know?
Guy: Iraq is not the same as Israel.
–Duane Reade, 28th & Park
Overheard by: Jack B
Red State Girl: Is that a hammer in your bag?
Dealer: Yeah. It’s a metaphor. ‘Cause Jesus was a carpenter, see. And I walk with Jesus.
Red State Girl: Oh.
–29th Street & 7th Ave.
Overheard by: M. Martin
Black woman, to eight-year-old white girl: I love the white people. You are so cute. I would babysit you. Come here.
White woman: Yes, give the little white girl a hug.
Black woman, to girl: If anyone fucks with you, I’m gonna be fucking with them.
–47th & 8th
Overheard by: alxie
Girl on computer #10: Damn, this dumb bitch wants to start her own prostituting company.
Girl on computer #9: What a dumb bitch.
–Library, Baruch College
Overheard by: jackieisawuesome
College kid #1: I want to see the Messiah.
College kid #2: Like, actually? Or Handel?
College kid #1: … Handel.
–Lincoln Square
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist