Archive for 2020

Many of Us Are Even at Jim’s Lev­el

Yup­pie mom #1: Can you be­lieve that there are peo­ple liv­ing in this city who make un­der two hun­dred thou­sand dol­lars?
Yup­pie mom #2: Re­al­ly?
Yup­pie mom #1: Yes, I’d nev­er do that. I would­n’t want to live like a Huck­le­ber­ry Finn.

The con­ver­sa­tion then got too low for me to hear af­ter they saw I was eaves­drop­ping and giv­ing them the evil eye.

–River­side Park

Chicks and Ducks and Geese Bet­ter Scur­ry

Girl: So I’m not the biggest com­ic fan, but these were from the thir­ties and I open it up and HEL­LO DON­ALD DUCK with an erec­tion!
Guy: Whoa, porno.
Girl: Yeah, it was $4.95 which I to­tal­ly had, but I mean…there was even this po­em. “This is the tale of Don­ald Duck, he just wants a duck to fuck.”
Guy: Was he…you know?
Girl: Cir­cum­cised?

–Cen­tral Park South

News­Flash: Hip­ster Is Copy­cat. Film at 11

Art­sy girl: I cant be­lieve you took my idea!
Beard­ed hip­ster boy: My cat died and so I can use it my way.
Art­sy girl: But now every­one thinks it was your idea to skin the cat! And it was mine! Next thing you know, you’ll be pluck­ing the feath­ers out of birds and dip­ping them in blood!
Beard­ed hip­ster boy: Good idea, I think I will.
Art­sy girl: Cunt!

–Out­side Coop­er Union School

Over­heard by: jem­ma low­er