Archive for 2020

Next Stop: Put in Your Place Street

Girl #1: I have an idea, why don’t we keep the doors open so even more peo­ple can pack in? Are we close enough yet?
Guy: Yeah. I could start crowd surf­ing.
Girl #1: It just sucks be­ing squeezed in like this. Es­pe­cial­ly when you have to get off at the next stop–
Guy: Like you are go­ing to do.
Girl #1: –and peo­ple won’t get out of the way. It’s like they don’t un­der­stand that you have to get off. This time I’m go­ing to be like, “Bitch­es, get out of my way!”
Guy: Yeah.
Girl #1: I’m just try­ing to find one thing about this that does­n’t suck and I’ve got noth­ing.
Guy: Me ei­ther.
Girl #1: This is a nightmare…It’s so an­noy­ing to be forced to be so close to so many peo­ple in such a small space–
Girl #2: Yeah, it is re­al­ly an­noy­ing, es­pe­cial­ly when you are forced to hear some­one else’s con­ver­sa­tion.
Guy: Whoa! What tim­ing.

–L train

“Why Is This Bite Dif­fer­ent from All Oth­er Bites?”

La­dy #1: Did you hear about those priests mo­lest­ing those chil­dren?
La­dy #2: That’s old news.
La­dy #1: Nah, one was just con­vict­ed. But did you hear about the rab­bis and cir­cum­ci­sions?
La­dy #2: What? No. What hap­pened?
La­dy #1: Well, a rab­bi got in trou­ble for cir­cum­cis­ing some kids… with his mouth!
La­dy #2: Ew, dis­gust­ing! He de­serves to get in trou­ble.

–14A crosstown bus

Over­heard by: gcat

In Which Case, All Re­al­ly Is Fair

Woman #1: She was great. I bought both her CDs.
Woman #2, show­ing off new shirt: I bought her t‑shirt. Is­n’t it cute?
Woman #3: Yes. Not that there’s any­thing wrong with it, but some peo­ple at the con­cert told me she is list­ed at a web­site for gay song­writ­ers.
Woman #2, screech­ing: What?! I can’t be wear­ing no fuck­ing les­bian t‑shirt!
Woman #4: Well, un­less it helps you get a man.
Woman #2: Well… That’s true.

–Penn Sta­tion

Over­heard by: Bol­lox­i­ans