Archive for 2020

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Can Be Read on the IPad

Guy: He spends half the time sum­ma­riz­ing the text with pan­tomime.

–Com­put­er Lab, NYU

Over­heard by: AH

Nor­mal-look­ing guy, con­vers­ing with in­vis­i­ble per­son: What? You can’t read and write? Man, you ain’t nev­er gonna get your man­hood back if you don’t know how to read and write!

–F Train

Over­heard by: DeaM­cK

Girl in­side store: Books that aren’t spi­ral-bound. That’s my prob­lem in life. I can’t turn the pages.

–Sta­ples

Over­heard by: JF

Am new york guy: Read about some­thing in am New York! Read about some­thing in am New York!

–34th St

Over­heard by: erkala

Mom: Okay, so his pun­ish­ment is he’s not al­lowed to read…

–14th St & 4th Ave

I Am So Telling Her about the Lip­stick

Man: I love your mom.
Woman: What?! No you don’t!
Man: I al­ways speak well of her.
Woman: No, you don’t.
Man: I don’t say, ‘I gave your mom 20 bucks for a cab home last night.’ I don’t say, ‘Tell your mom to stop chang­ing her lip­stick — my dick looks like a rain­bow.’ I don’t say, ‘Af­ter meet­ing your mom, all my friends have her­pes.’ In fact, I don’t say any­thing rude at all.
Woman, cell ring­ing: It’s mom call­ing.

–Union Square

Over­heard by: Dave

Can’t Talk. Defe­cat­ing.

Girl #1 in a rush, slam­ming door and al­most hit­ting oth­er girls: Oh my god, I’m so sor­ry!
Girl #2: It’s okay…
Girl #3, sar­cas­ti­cal­ly: Oh yeah, it’s to­tal­ly okay. Ac­tu­al­ly, why don’t you open the door hard­er next time?

–Re­stroom, 54th St & Ave of the Amer­i­c­as

Over­heard by: Ilike­can­dy