Archive for 2020

CIA: Hmmm…

Grandson: I wanna watch that show Chuck — about the spy.
Grandma: Cluck? It’s called ‘Cluck’?
Grandson: Chuck. He’s a spy.
Grandma: Cluck? Like a chicken?
Grandson: Grandma, you’re stupid.
Grandma: I just don’t think a chicken would make a good spy. He’d always be clucking.
Grandson: He’s not a chicken, he’s a spy.
Grandma: But then again, no one expects a chicken… Damn chickens…

–L train

But That Gear Shaft Totally Consented

Drunk middle-aged woman #1: Yeah, but I don’t think…
Drunk middle-aged woman #2: The cops in the state of New Jersey all have computers in their cars. They pulled him over, and he wasn’t even doing anything!
Drunk middle-aged man #1: Well, what did they say to you?
Drunk middle-aged man #2: They said I was driving erotically.

–NJ Transit

And Can He Get Us Any Good Weed?

Teenage girl #1: Yo, I got this job application for Trader Joe’s.
Teenage girl #2: What’s a Trader Joe?

–Subway

Overheard by: Andrea Caroline