Archive for 2020

CIA: Hm­mm…

Grand­son: I wan­na watch that show Chuck — about the spy.
Grand­ma: Cluck? It’s called ‘Cluck’?
Grand­son: Chuck. He’s a spy.
Grand­ma: Cluck? Like a chick­en?
Grand­son: Grand­ma, you’re stu­pid.
Grand­ma: I just don’t think a chick­en would make a good spy. He’d al­ways be cluck­ing.
Grand­son: He’s not a chick­en, he’s a spy.
Grand­ma: But then again, no one ex­pects a chick­en… Damn chick­ens…

–L train

But That Gear Shaft To­tal­ly Con­sent­ed

Drunk mid­dle-aged woman #1: Yeah, but I don’t think…
Drunk mid­dle-aged woman #2: The cops in the state of New Jer­sey all have com­put­ers in their cars. They pulled him over, and he was­n’t even do­ing any­thing!
Drunk mid­dle-aged man #1: Well, what did they say to you?
Drunk mid­dle-aged man #2: They said I was dri­ving erot­i­cal­ly.

–NJ Tran­sit

And Can He Get Us Any Good Weed?

Teenage girl #1: Yo, I got this job ap­pli­ca­tion for Trad­er Joe’s.
Teenage girl #2: What’s a Trad­er Joe?

–Sub­way

Over­heard by: An­drea Car­o­line