Passenger #1: What’s that movie with Julia Roberts where she plays the runaway bride?
Passenger #2: My Best Friend’s Wedding?
–Grand Central
Overheard by: EmLo
Archive for 2020
Apparently My Years of Intensive Instruction Have Paid Off
Lady #1: So, apparently my son was over at Jessie’s house, and they were ‘touching.’
Lady #2, reminiscing: Oh, the petting…
Lady #1: I know, what a tramp! So anyway, Jessie’s mom was concerned about it, but I told my son, ‘Damn, you go boy!’
–Wall St
Overheard by: also likes the petting
Is It Too Late to Apologize for Mooning You?
Black girl #1: Damn, girl! You’re hairy! I dunno if it’s cause I’m light-skinned, you’re hairy!
Black girl #2: Thanks. Thanks… (walks away)
Black girl #1: You’re like a werewolf!
–H&M Dressing Room, Queens Center Mall
Overheard by: hoping shes not a werewolf too…
Because Mr. Cruise is Clearly Well Balanced
L. Ron Hubtard: Do you have stress?
Man: I live in New York, what the fuck do you think? “Do I have stress?” Fuck you.
–Times Square station
Overheard by: ichi gami
The Gates Changed New York Forever
Elderly woman: Excuse me, do you know where 81st Street is? We’re trying to get to the highest point in the park to see The Gates.
A NYer points out the way. After she leaves, he says: I’m pretty sure I gave her the wrong directions, but I think she’s high enough.
–The Ramble
Overheard by: Nathan K. Claus
Guy: Man, this will really put New York back on the map.
–The Gates
Suit: Excuse me, I wanted to ask you about your [big orange] wig. Are you advocating your support for The Gates or are you commenting on how crazy and trivial they are?
Guy: Uh…what wig?
–The Gates
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Boy: Mom! Was that “art”?
Mother: No, Michael. That was laundry.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Darko Vraither
Old woman #1: Isn’t it lovely?
Old woman #2: Well, I wouldn’t call it art, but I’m certainly glad New York has something to amuse it during the month of February.
–MoMA roof
Overheard by: Michael Bracy
I Mean, Why Die If You Care About Your Body?
Man #1: So they were just rolling around in the back of the car, you didn’t use anything to hold them down at all?
Man #2: Well, I mean, the bodies are gonna be embalmed anyways, they get all stiff then–so why would I?
–Bedford & N 8th St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: raeme
Gene Kelly and Debbie Reynolds Didn’t Always Get Along During the Filming Of Singin’ in the Rain
Disgruntled woman: You know, you could take someone’s eye out if you’re not careful with that umbrella.
Umbrella-wielding man, cheerily: That is perfectly okay!
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: Lysa
When Did Porn Get So Complicated?
Girl: So wait, it’s garlic that you use?
Guy: Yes, who heard of scaring them with bologna?
Girl: Wasn’t it in that movie?…Oh wait, that was robots.
–Penn Station
Wednesday McLiners
10-year-old sister: Ya know, I’m not eating McDonald’s anymore; I’m on a diet. I only eat Popeyes now.
–Utica Ave
Little boy, high-fiving Ronald McDonald statue: There’s my boy!
–McDonald’s, 2nd Ave & 39th St
Overheard by: Juan Chung
Gay guy to boyfriend while on line: Unnhh-uhh, you need to stop eating Big Macs… Last nite your sperm tasted like that sauce!
–McDonald’s
Fat mother to soon-to-be-fat kids: You can have a hot dog while we try and find a McDonald’s.
–Central Park
Today It’s a Lolly. Tomorrow It’s a BMW
(waiting in line)
Four-year-old kid: Mommy, I really want a lollipop!
Mom: Uhuh, move up here honey.
Kid: Mom! Just give in, I want a lollipop, okay?
(mother ignores him)
Kid: Just give in, it’s okay, I want one. It’s okay to give in, mom.
(pause)
Kid: Mom, this isn’t going to work for me! I want a lollipop!
Random guy in line: Resist!
–Associated Supermarkets, Bleecker & LaGuardia
Overheard by: CaitlinisNewHere
