Black woman, looking at Nacho Libre poster: I don’t wanna see any foreign shit. Fuck that!
–AMC theatre, 34th & 8th
Overheard by: K Smith
Woman with white dog to woman with black dog: He’s only barking because he isn’t used to seeing that kind of dog.
–Central Park
Woman getting haircut: So it all began when I was dating an Italian underwear model…
Hairdresser (after a short pause): Yes?
Woman: He was the worst fuck of my life!
–Institu Salon, 19th & Irving
Chick: Oh yeah, my grandmother was a prisoner in Auschwitz with Elie Wiesel.
Dude: That’s ballin’
–Brooklyn F Train
Large black woman sitting down on park bench: Oooh, my booty itchy!
Large black woman friend, sitting down with her: Ha ha! You talkin’ bout “my booty itchy!”
–Avenue of the Americas & Canal
Thug #1: … And you could smell that shit through her jeans, yo! That shit was nasty!
Thug #2: Bitch needs to be fuckin’ introduced to Mr. Clean or some shit!
–Outside Francis Lewis High, Queens
Platinum blonde to brunette friend: Should I be tanning?
Brunette friend, earnestly: You’re already tan! You’re a tan person!
Blonde girl: No I’m not!
–Columbia University
Homeless man to passengers: If you ever have any leftover food or drinks or whatnot, you can bring them to me at this address. (hands out business cards)
Suit: Umm… How’d you get the money to print out business cards?
Homeless man: Kiss my ass, give me that card back!
–6 Train
Overheard by: Christine
[Patrol car flashing lights at curb. Small group of high-schoolers corralled against wall]Police officer: So what happened –what did you see?
Sharp teen: No hablo inglés.
Officer, in perfect Spanish: Entonces, que pasó? Qué viste?
Smart teen: No hablo español!
–85th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Christopher Stone
Little girl playing a Nintendo DS: Yes! Yes!
Mother: What happened?
Little girl: Never mind, Mom. You just wouldn’t understand.
–E train
Overheard by: Collegiate Cutie
Teen boy #1: Yo son, butt sex mad disgusting.
Teen boy #2: No, it ain’t. If she shit before you do it you won’t get no poop on yo dick.
Teen boy #1: Pfft. They always be shit in her ass even if she shits.
Teen boy #2: Nah, son.
Teen boy #1: When you pull the mushroom out there gonna be shit under it.
Teen boy #2: Ha, ha, ha! No, it ain’t…Ask her about it.
–R train
Overheard by: Evan Walsh
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
