Archive for 2020

Wednesday One-Liners Aren’t a Tourist Attraction, Assholes

Chick to friend, standing silently for several minutes: You know, there really isn’t that much to see here.

–Ground Zero

Woman on cell: What about the Christmas cards with the twin towers surrounded by flowers? … Yeah. Kinda grim, huh?

–Barnes & Noble, Lincoln Center

Overheard by: Karyn Regal

Wannabe-hardcore bimbette: So, this is where it all went down, huh? Where the shit hit the fan…

–PATH station, WTC

Overheard by: WesTexMike

Tourist man to MTA lady: I want to go to that World Trade Center thing.

–14th St station

Tourist: Is this nine-eleven?

–Ground Zero

Overheard by: duplicity

Sometimes Courtship Isn’t Even Worth It.

Man in middle of midlife crisis, trying to look “world weary” but still sexy: Wow, you’ve seen The Big Lebowski?
Late teen, whose relationship to this man is disturbingly unclear: Oh yeah. All my friends told me I had to see it.
Man: That’s a classic. If you want to be an actress, watch a Coen brothers movie, they are so good.
Late teen: Oh yeah? What else have they done?
Man, after five-second pause: Um, I don’t know off-hand.
Late teen, continuing without a hitch: Well, I love horror movies. I’ve seen all of the Saw movies. And I’ve read all of the CSI books.
Man: If you like horror and crime scenes, maybe you should become a forensic scientist.
Late teen: Yeah, like I’ve always admired biology research.
Man: Weren’t you thinking of studying dentistry?
Late teen: Yeah. But I don’t like kids. Plus, I want to see a live heart and feel it pumping in my hand, you know? And I saw a cadaver once. At Columbia Presbyterian. My dad showed it to me.
Man, quickly: Wow.
Late teen: Yeah, I also like, you know, collecting stuff. I have a huge cigar collection.
Man, listening more attentively: Really? Can I see…
Late teen, interrupting: Well, it’s my dad’s collection. But I also have thousands of baseball cards. And stamps.
Man, annoyed that the cigar topic has taken a back seat: How did you get so many baseball cards?
Late teen: I’ve been collecting them, since I was young. Oh, and I just got the Simpsons stamps. They are so awesome!
Man: Yeah…


How Much Time Do We Have?

Guy: So the other night Taryn was over with her kid, and my ex-girlfriend came by and happened to see, and Taryn’s baby is really light-skinned, so now my ex-girlfriend thinks I have another kid that I didn’t tell her about.
Friend: Did you tell her it wasn’t yours?
Guy: Yeah. I already have two kids, I really don’t need another one. Why would I keep it from my mom and my dad and her anyway?

–L train

Overheard by: Mina