Archive for 2020

Wednesday One-Liners Get Their Mouths Washed Out with Soap

Gleeful little boy: We will, we will fuck you! We will, we will fuck you! [Bursts into giggles.] 

–1 train

Overheard by: caitlinj

Guy: I mean, I wasn’t expecting being fucked, either!

–55th & 8th

Overheard by: Mariah

Guy on cell: You know what? Cleo fucked you, so fuck it — we’re fucked.

–Forest Hills

Tough guy with five-year-old: Hey, buddy! Don’t fucking push me! I’ve got my fuckin’ kid here!

–1 train

Overheard by: wba

Hispanic lady with stroller, on cell: Mothafuckin’ [Spanish]… Fuckin’ asshole [Spanish]… Son of a [Spanish]… Fuckin’ mothafuckin’ [Spanish]… Bunny rabbit [Spanish]… Fuck.

–7th Ave, Park Slope

Overheard by: Mike N (doesn’t speak Spanish)

Wednesdanimal One-Liners

Suit on cell: Most people want their pets painted.

–Prince & Broadway

Drunk guy yelling at busker while being dragged away by police: You see those pigeons? All those pigeons are my lovers!

–Verdi Square

Cop to crazy dude feeding birds: You feed the birds, I’ll put you in the zoo!

–Union Square Park

Bratty eight-year-old girl: Aren’t there any live animals here?

–Museum of Natural History