Girl on cell: Mom, of course I’m not going to be there on Monday. It’s Columbus Day. Co-lum-bus. It’s a holiday.
–Broadway & 13th
Overheard by: Sparkle Shortz
Archive for 2020
Wheresday One-Liners
NYU guy to tourist friends: Well, here’s Grand Central!
–Broadway & Waverly
Guy on Sidekick to another: I wasn’t sure if he was talking about Buffalo or Baltimore! I mean, I don’t even know where Buffalo is! Is it a state?
–1 Train
Overheard by: amalthya
Ditzy girl sobbing on cell: You don’t understand! They told me I was supposed to go to Penn Station but I just don’t know where that is!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: queenofscots
Guy on cell: I don’t get it–why go all the way to Ireland if you’re not going to go see Stonehenge?
–Costco, Brooklyn
Girlfriend to boyfriend: Is this Times Square?
–85th & 1st
Overheard by: Special K
It’s a Natural Defense Against Predators
Girl #1: Like, I used to either black out or throw up, not both. But lately, I have only been blacking out!
Girl #2: Well, which do you prefer?
Girl #1: Actually, I prefer blacking out.
Girl #2: Oh, really? Id rather throw up.
–6 platform, Union Square
Besides, You Need to Learn to Make Do
Young daughter: I want an eight-inch one.
Mom: No, honey, eight inches is too long for you.
Young daughter: But I really want it.
Mom: No, you’ll just get the five inches, and it will be good.
–Quizno’s, 5th Ave
And He’s on Antibiotics
Drunk girl #1: Call me tomorrow morning and tell me how you feel!
Drunk girl #2: I’ll be just fine cuz I just made out with Travis.
–19th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: k
This Girl on the Titanic: Yeah, He Said the Ship Hit an Iceberg. So Anyway…
Crazy guy gasps: Help! [No one moves.] I said, ‘Help’!
Chick on cell: He said, ‘Help.’
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Nicole
About Last Night
Traffic warden: You can park anywhere. I see people putting money in meters and they don’t have to. It’s free today. Tomorrow, New Year’s Day, too.
Guy: Then why are you working today?
Traffic warden: Don’t know. They pay me to.
–UWS
Or Timbuktu?
Guy: I like to travel a lot.
Girl: Ohhh! Have you ever been to New Jersey?
–72nd & Central Park West
Overheard by: Ross
If We Got Married, It Wouldn’t Be an Issue!
Bimbette #1: Oh my god! I just realized my brother and I have the same last name!
Bimbette #2: Really?
Bimbette #1: Yeah, it never hit me before.
–BX10 Bus
Overheard by: My mom and I too
Why U.S. Test Scores Are Down Under: Explained.
American tourist: Where are you from?
Australian tourist: Australia.
American: Oh wow, how do they talk over there?
Australian: Umm, like this?
American: But what language?
–Penn Hotel
